What happens when....

you leave a toddler under their own devices in the basement/playroom while you breastfeed and put to bed the baby: first look seems rather mild. Not too much to worry about:


And then, a little more but still not too bad:



Hmmm, a sign of things to come but still manageable:


And around the corner... oh, the humanity! (Notice the toilet paper... she actually managed to dislodge this from the toilet paper holder. No small feat for a person who can't even zip her own pants):

Photos from the parade

Jen, in her wisdom, brought a camera to the parade. Here are some photos from the UnSanta Claus Parade.
And finally, the aforementioned Santa bus that we used as a replacement for Santa himself:

Santa, no Santa, it doesn't seem to matter

Yesterday I took Emily to the Santa Claus parade. We got there for 11:30 thinking that would ensure that we saw the floats that started down the parade route at 11:00. Turns out that the parade got underway about 30 minutes late so we saw nothing until about 12:30. Emily didn't care. She amused herself for the first full hour watching a big machine/crane at a construction site.

It was darn cold. Emily sat on my shoulders most of the time eating a lollipop passed out by some group of paraders. By 1:00 we still hadn't spotted Santa, but look! there's a big bus with a humongous Santa hat on it. I told Emily that was Santa, she was thrilled, and we left. Dontcha love toddlers? Forgot to take my camera of course so you'll just have to use your mind's eye.

Last night the Henkelmans came to our house for dinner. We were all supposed to go out for dinner at a swanky bistro but Meredith's son had a nasty stomach flu and she was supposed to babysit for us. So, a quick change of plans, and the Henkelman's came to our house, they ordered take away Thai, brought dessert and wine, and it was all very good.

Lastly, it seems that I have a touch of postpartum depression. That seems like saying "I have a touch of the cancer." Anyway, it means that I may not be posting as often as I have been depending on my energy level and desire or ability to do anything more than play with Emily and change Hope's diaper. But, I'll try to post updates as I see myself through this next exciting phase of parenthood. John's being very understanding... especially after I throw a soap dispernser atgainst the bathroom wall. Don't worry though... that's all I've thrown so far.

Three words I've been waiting to hear

I'm sure every parent is like me and waits impatiently for their child to, without prompting, say: I love you. I tell Emily I love her all the time, not because I need to hear it back, although it would be kind of nice to hear her say that spontaneously. For now, her kisses, hugs, Mummies, grabbing my hand, touching my cheeks, etc say it all. Still.... like I said, it would be nice.

This morning we were snuggling in the rocking chair just after she woke up. She walked over to get a pull-up as we were going to be leaving shortly for playgroup (otherwise it is "big girl" underwear all the way). She chose a Dora and Boots pull-up. She climbed back in my lap. I told her that I loved her.

She said: "I love Dora. I love Boots."

Oh. God. The apocolypse has arrived.

Care for a cuppa?

The last week, actually longer, has been really rough with Emily. There has been a lot of whining (her, not me), lots of rudeness, crying, temper tantrums and hot and cold with the toilet/potty. I told John last night that, if I'm honest, I'm not enjoying being her parent lately. I wondered if I'm not giving her enough stimulation, if it is a phase, or if it is a result of too much t.v. (current addiction is Dora and the Wiggles).

This morning started off badly. Right from when she got out of bed she was crying and whining. So, I let her watch Dora while I got breakfast ready. We enjoyed breakfast (okay, who wouldn't? It was blueberry bread pudding with whipped cream on top) and then there was some crying when I told her there was no more t.v. for the day. So, to divert her, we had a tea party. A "real" tea party. I made tea, put out cookies, brought her table and chairs up from the basement, brought Pooh and Baby to the table, and gave her the china tea set she likes. It was a major event and a total hit of course. The tea party marked the end of whining for the rest of the day (so far).

After about 30 minutes of that, we took all the kids books off the shelves in the living room and spread them out like a library and read lots of them. After that it was off to the kitchen for drawing. Then, upstairs to feed Hope and for Emily to generally destroy the top floor. I decided that today I was going to stop caring about tidying except for during Emily's nap. It works so much better if I just play with her.

Clearly this was part of the issue. She does need more stimulation, more interaction and more activity than I have been providing lately. I do of course play with her and give her some activities but she needs more than I was giving her. This will mean a messier house, a more fatigued me but if it means less whining and crying, and a better relationship between her and I (back to how it has always been - very close and loving with little conflict), I'll totally do that.

After drawing, it was off to pick up John at the train station, get some groceries and Loblaws (where Emily saw her playgroup leader, Paul - a big hit), and then home for lunch. Clearly nap happened a bit late today.

After her nap, we go to the library so John and I can vote and to let Emily explore a bit. All in all, a great day with my big girl. Oh, and big girl underwear, no accidents, and lots of potty time! Hooray! Even hit the mark in Loblaws!

Humming along

There isn't much to report on from here at the moment. Emily is being a toddler - the last few days she is hot and cold with toilet use. Hopefully I'll be able to get her back on track during the coming week. Hope is doing really well. I've been working on changing her sleep location a little bit and it has therefore been a bit of a struggle the last couple of days but nothing that I can really complain about. Especially since she slept five hours straight last night!

The week ahead will probably be our usual routine - library, playgroup, and who knows what else (maybe a visit to the farm?)... we have to get our flu shots this week too. Ick.

The only question mark for the week will be if John goes on strike on Wednesday. That could make life a little interesting around here. We'll pull out the guitars and ponchos and head for the water tower.

Why it pays to have family in Alberta

Being two months old makes me happy

Two months can go by so fast

Hope is two months old today. Only two months and two hours ago, she came flying out of me right here in the basement. And now, two months on, I still have a few ailments to show for it (the shortness of this entry is testament to my still-sore ass). The ailments though pale in comparison to the absolute heart-melting emotion I have for this tiny, perfect being. She has in every way completely captured my heart. I spend the few moments of the day when I get to be alone with her, gazing, memorizing every line on her face, every emotion she shows, and whispering to her about how much I love her, and how she is my heart. I hope she hears every word and remembers it all above the din that is sometimes our house.


She is the perfect baby. For the time being, she wakes up around 7:30 and feeds, goes back to sleep around 8:30 and wakes up about an hour later. She'll then be up for a bit until around 11:30 and then sleep until about 12:30. Then she'll do a good sleep (two hours or so) sometime again after that. Then back down again around 5:00 and then up around 6:30 and then down for the count around 8:00. She will then usually sleep until 1:00 am and then get up every 3 to 4 hours to feed. Repeat. I can't ask for much more. And amidst all of that there is rarely a cry. Just lots of smiles when I come into our room to get her up from her nap. As soon as she sees my face she grins and coos and does everything she can to melt my heart again. It totally makes my day every time. I often get excited when she starts to wake up because I know that is what is waiting for me.

Tuesday mornings are Emily's playgroup. This is a hard time for Hope. She is hauled along, left in her car seat most of the time and summarily ignored for most of the two hours. It can't be fun. But, she puts up with it, doesn't protest too much (until she gets really hungry) and somehow manages to sleep a bit even though several two-year olds are intent on poking her or getting two-inches from her face because that is just what two-year olds do with babies. Go figure. It's some kind of phenomenon. I told Emily this morning that when she gets older, she owes Hope a big thank-you for understanding that Emily needs this kind of activity even though it isn't fun for Hope. I will thank Hope by making sure that when she is two, I am off work and taking her to the playgroup so she can climb, slide, run, sing, do crafts, cry, get angry, break things... all the things that two-year olds need to learn.

I guess my ass was able to hold out longer than expected.

Emily discovers Nutella

Oh my. In an effort to get Emily to eat her toast, which she requested but then refused, I slathered it with peanut butter and nutella. Um, she seemed to like it.

Every day (almost) lately Emily has been helping me bake. It started slowly in the summer when we baked her birthday cake at the cottage. It really took off when Beth was here in September and she and Emily baked together everyday. Sometimes twice a day.

Now, I am baking my own bread (seems crazy, but isn't really when you have a kick-ass mixer with a dough hook) and Emily loves to help, of course. John took some pictures today. The kitchen floor is in a constant state of needing to be mopped.

Halloween photos

Emily did go out for Halloween, even with her cold.... and loved it. Although you wouldn't know it by the photo below that makes her look like she's going out under protest. I probably would have protested in fact... this was my first chance to collect candy in years!

Tortiere be damned

Because Beth said she is always hoping for photos of the nieces, I have left behind a very untidy house (something I usually can't stand) and dinner preparations to upload some halloween photos (no costume ones yet, but they're coming) and a few of Hope.

She seems to have developed a bit of a mohawk.

Wrap up of the saga of the hemorrhoids

I gave in and got a prescription. It was the best thing I did in regards to the 'roids. Within 3 days, the hemorrhoid has been blasted to almost oblivion. Combined with the "cushion bum sore mummy," as Emily calls it, I'm feeling almost 100% aside from the fatigue fog I'm walking around in lately due to Emily having a cold and therefore waking up in the night usually right after I finish a 45 minute breastfeeding session with Hope (she's a bit of a gourmand when it comes to enjoying her meals). I think the roid cream and the cold may be related as the walk-in clinic is the only place I can think of where I may have picked up any germs. I seem to be a carrier though rather than having the cold myself, thankfully.

The potty training is still humming along. I actually feel like we're on the road to being diaper-free with Emily. Yesterday she wore "big girl underwear" to the library and back with no accidents. In fact she wore the underwear a lot yesterday with no accidents. Sweet. Hopefully there will be no backward steps now regarding the toilet.

I have some pictures to post of Hope but not until tomorrow because there is a tortiere that needs making for supper. Mmm-mmm, good.

Apparently I'm an invalid

Bought a card reader so now the camera situation is fixed for the time being. So, here was the post I wanted to put up earlier.

Bought a cushion today to help with the 'roids (and it does by the way). Here is the tag that was on it:

Why didn't I just stay on the pill?

It's another one of those days. But worse.

Emily is precocious. Most people who know her, know that. She is "strong-willed," which is a nice way of saying she is a pain in the ass sometimes. Today she is being so nasty that I am having a serious existential moment. This happens when you sit in the bathroom and make up a song about poo coming out of your bum just to help a toddler produce. Then, you quickly realize, there is nothing to produce. She has instead figured out that she can use the need to poo as a delaying tactic in regards to naptime. This is when it hits you how your life has changed from one where you filter information to a minister of the crown to one where you sing about poo and go all ga-ga when it is in a potty looking like ice cream. And all in a matter of weeks.

The problem with toilet training that no one told me is that a toddler hits a point when they don't want to where diapers anymore but they also aren't ready to shed them alltogether. They still need them on outings, in the car and for sleeping. Today, Emily refused every type I offered: cloth, pull-up, regular etc. Finally, I hit my limit, launched her into her room for a final timeout (I think I counted around 4 or 5 by this time after a morning of shouting (by her, not me), not cleaning up her toys, hitting, etc etc), then covered her bed in plastic, stuck a sheet on top and told her that I didn't care if she slept in a puddle of her own pee, she was getting in bed and staying there.

It registered because she got a look on her face like: "what the fuck? are you seriously going to make me do that? are you seriously seeing right through me and going to make me put my money where my mouth is? Interesting."

I put her in bed, walked out, went downstairs, looked at the bottle of wine, put on the tea instead, and then yelled "For fuck's sake!" just to make me feel better, which it did.

Maybe I'll have a chance with Hope. Unlikely. She'll probably end up sleeping in her own pee too.

Diagnosis

I hooked up my camera to John's laptop and still nothing. So, I'm going to try to replace just the connection cord thingy and see if that works. So, no pictures still.

In the meantime, Emily is really coming along with the toilet training. Lots of pee happening and last night a giant poop that she described as looking like ice cream. Needless to say I won't be eating soft serve again for a long time.

Heathens no more

Today I took Emily to church for the first time since her first Christmas Eve when she was 4 months old and really just a drooly, poopy thing in a dress. Now that she's two she can participate in the kids' program so I decided it was time to get on with this if it was going to happen at all. I went to Ottawa Mennonite Church as it is the only denomination I really feel comfortable in after being brought up in a very evangelical and conservative church - the kind of place I don't want to be associated with again. And certainly not the kind of place I would want Emily to experience. Ever.

The Mennonite Church is, while describing itself as evangelical, much more accepting of alternative views, much more internationally and community driven particularly in the realm of peace and justice issues. It is just a good fit for me. And if Emily wants to find something else when she is older, or not attend at all, that will be fine with me and ultimately, her choice.

The morning went like this for us: the first 20 minutes or so take place with the whole congregation. Then the kids leave for children's hour while the adults can stay behind for the regular worship service. This will be the ultimate goal for me but for today I took Emily to children's hour. It started with all the kids together. A woman played the guitar and talked about all the colours you find in nature right now using the example of Indian corn. Then the kids split off into age groups. Emily is with the 2 and 3 year olds. They did a craft and had a snack and then it was time to go home. The other parents were great - very open and inviting to me (which can occasionally be a problem in Mennonite churches if you are not Mennonite yourself).

The best part for me was that when I walked in the doors at the start the first person I saw was one of my best friends from university who I haven't seen in years. She attends there. I didn't even know she was living in Ottawa. Holly McNamara. Very cool and made it that much better for me. Of course, there were many other Grebel people there too that I know. That's the Mennonite game for you.

I felt really at ease there - we'll be back in two weeks (next week is the community Hallowe'en party in our neighbourhood). Emily really liked it and is still talking about the "lady and the corn." I must have felt at ease because my first action was to pull out the ass pillow and plop myself down. It was either that or stand the whole time. I figure these people shoulld get to know the real me from the start. Ass and all.

Stupid technology getting me all used to it and everything

Ugh. For some reason I can no longer download the pictures from my camera onto the computer. Not sure if this is a camera issue or a computer issue but it royally sucks. Until such time as we (a) figure out and fix the problem; (b) get a new computer; or (c) get a new camera there will be no pictures. I may explore the option of downloading to John's laptop and then blogging from there but it seems like a lot of effort with all the software downloading required etc.

And I had a great photo and post to put up. Will have to delay that one.

One of those days

Today was one of those days you hear stay-at-home mums talk about. You know, when you almost completely lose it on your toddler, when you give her a time-out just so you can cool down, when your hemorrhoids are at their worst, when the baby just won't sleep, when the toddler pees on her step stool, when there is nothing in the fridge for dinner (but you manage to pull off a home-made pizza with minimal toppings and get the toddler to eat it!), when your partner doesn't get home until 6:20, and you end your day downing two glasses of wine regardless of the fact that you are breastfeeding. Yah, it was one of those days.

However, I did manage to pull myself together enough to take a couple of cute pictures during Hope's bath.

A little discouraged

Dr. Guo did not say: "it will get worse before it gets better." However, it has gotten worse overnight. The 'roids have never bothered me in the middle of the night but last night and through this morning they were really bad. What's up with that? I'll go once more and see what he says but if it's going to get worse like this, I think I'll just go for the prescription from my doctor cuz this sucks.... ass.

Update on the 'roids

This is for Beth to pass on to Marlene. I finally saw an acupuncturist today. His name is Dr. Guo. He is, clearly, Chinese and practised in China for 30 years. His clinic was full which is probably a good sign. His clinic is in this slightly cracktown area in the side of his house. Suspicious at first, but then when I went in, it all seemed fine and on the up and up. Anyway, he stuck me full of pins, first on my back and one actually in my butt - well just at the top of the crack, but still - and then I had to flip over and he stuck two in my stomach area, and a bunch in my legs and feet.

Okay, so true, the pins don't hurt at all. But there is definitely radiating discomfort due to the pressure points. This to me means that it is doing something. The top-of-my-butt one sent shooting pain into my left cheek. Weird. And the ones in my feet made my arches hurt and ache. So cool. He also told me to put cold water on the roid twice a day. Granted I haven't done that yet. I'll start either before bed or tomorrow morning.

He told me to come every day for a bit. Yah, right. Not practical when a person is looking after two kids and the hours are very limited. Can you imagine a two year old and a 6 week old hanging out for an hour in a clinic full of pins while their mother is being stuck and prodded? So, instead I'll be going Saturday and then Monday and see what I can swing after that. It just means that my pain will be extended a little longer.

Oh, by the way, he has a money-back guarantee! He said that he guarantees that he'll fix the roids or my money back. I can't lose!

Toddler tribulations

Emily has really been testing me the last few days. It is particularly bad just after lunch and supper, when she is getting tired and about to head to bed. She will do things that she knows are wrong such as take Hope's soother, refuse to come with me upstairs, refuse a diaper change, throw a tantrum about watching t.v., throw a tantrum about going to bed, etc etc. I give her a time out and she refuses to stay on the stairs or in the corner; she laughs when I get angry; I try to physically hold her in place and she laughs, wiggles, etc. Yesterday she actually hit me. That's when I really had it and let her know. This only made things worse. The conflict between us seemed to be escalating each day and I wasn't getting anywhere. That was clear.

Obviously my discipline style wasn't working with her. I would characterize my discipline style as very stern and firm. I lower my voice, sound very serious and sometimes angry. I tell her what she has done wrong, why it is wrong and the consequences if she does it again. Using this, she almost always does it again, clearly to get a reaction and attention - this is likely a symptom of having "competition" for my time now.

After deciding my current method of dealing with all of this wasn't working, I decided, in the absence of my mum (the guru of child discipline in my opinion), that I should turn to some "professionals" and see what they had to say. I have started with the Baby Whisperer. In summary, she essentially says that you can't be "subjective" in your discipline with toddlers, i.e. you can't show them your emotional reaction to the situation (anger, frustration etc). You have to remain calm and see the situation objectively - why it happened, what the toddler is experiencing etc. You also need to verbally recognize how the toddler is feeling, intervene (by correcting them) and then have consequences if the behaviour continues. I started applying this today. I feel I was using the right approach in telling Emily what she did wrong, why it had to change, etc but I was way too emotional about it and she reacted to that. The results have been great today. Each time she started to get a bit out of control or head towards a tantrum or conflict, I stayed calm, got down to her physical level and recognized how she felt but why it had to be done my way. I didn't go into big explanations. I just told her the deal and sometimes it was just "I know you're upset but no more Barney." If she pushed it, I told her the consequences and she always complied if she hadn't at the start.

Reading the Baby Whisperer stuff again has also inspired me to reattack toilet training which hasn't been going well lately. I was still getting her on the potty when I could but she would sometimes resist and I didn't push it, thinking it would be a mistake to do so. Anyway, I'm totally changing my tactic and I'm going to try the B.W. method instead. So, this afternoon, Emily and I went and bought a load of "big girl" underwear and she was in it all day. The result was that she did sit on the potty 4 times and also had several accidents in her underwear, which the B.W. says to expect. However, I'm going to keep it up and see what results I get. I think that if I'm consistent, and persevere through the accidents, I'll get results in a few weeks.

I'm tired of diapers and want to take it down to one kid at this point. Also, a two-year old's poop is gross. I'll be sure to post constant and graphic updates.

Some pictures

As today is raining, and I am therefore trapped indoors with a toddler and a newborn, I only have time to quickly stick up some photos and say nothing interesting or intelligent (I'm not sure I ever do that actually).

The first picture is Emily playing her favourite sandbox game - bakery. This was on the last sunny day that Ottawa will have until next summer, according to local forecasts. Ack! There will be many crafts done in our house this week it seems.


The second photo are the two most beautiful people in the world. Look at that toddler face. Look less at the baby acne face.

The last photo is Emily giving one of her many hugs to Hope. I'm going to start calling her "baby-crusher."

Happy Thanksgiving

I love Thanksgiving. It is my favourite holiday. It lacks the bustle and stress of Christmas preparations (although I love Christmas Day itself) and also has the advantage of often beautiful weather rather than frostbite temperatures and bountiful farmers' markets. I think my love of Thanksgiving however really comes from growing up in Niagara where it is such a celebration of harvest and every few houses have a fruit stand outfront and a pumpkin display and the weather is amazing and I spent it at craft sales and jumping in piles of leaves.

This morning we all went on a walk to check out the new footbridge over the Rideau Canal (which Emily refuses to recognize as a canal - "No, lake"). The walk was a little long for Emily who wanted to walk rather than ride in the stroller. Hope, of course, slept in the hug-a-bub the whole time. Great work-out for me - I'm hoping that with that and breastfeeding, any pregnancy belly will be gone in no time.

The turkey is now in the oven, the table set, the house smells amazing, the pumpkin pies are made and I'm about to hop in the shower so I can enjoy the rest of this great day. To add to the greatness, I got Hope to sleep right before I walked into Emily's room to put her down for her nap (which is now easy-peasy, I might add). Could it get any better than that?

The poop hit the...

potty! Yes! It's true! This afternoon, after her nap, Emily made a deposit on the toilet. I can't tell you how happy this makes me. I am on my way, at least in a small way (and believe me, it was small), to a diaper-free child. True, there could be some regressions in the future, but for now, Emily has at least broken that barrier into the world of people who don't sit in their own refuse.

Of course, she has also broken the barrier into the world of people who crap in the living room... in front of others. (Her potty is, for my convenience, parked in the living room at the moment so I can get her on it while I am breastfeeding, if need be.) Luckily, most of those people are under the age of 3. Or, perhaps, over the age of 93.

No "cown"!

"Cown" is Emily's word for crying. And today, there was no cown! Emily just said "bye bye, Mummy" just before I left her room and that was it for her nap. Yes! Total success! Of course, there are other issues - a couple of behavioural issues popping up now - not staying in the corner when she is told, refusing to have a diaper put on (maybe that's not such a bad thing), etc. I guess the usual for a two-year old.

This morning we had some great play-doh time, then to the "coffee shop" (Emily's name for Tim Horton's) for lunch with Omi, then leaf collecting on the way home. Now Emily is napping and Hope is about to get a bath.

Fall has arrived in Ottawa. Emily had to wear a hat and mitts this morning on our walk. It's a beautiful, sunny day but only about 14 degrees. Celcius that is, for any of you living among the 'mericans.

Not so bad today

Yesterday was another tough day of getting Emily to sleep. It was another almost 30 minutes of crying but today was a different story. So thankful. There was only about 5 minutes of crying at the most and her heart wasn't in it. I'm hoping by tomorrow there will be almost none.

This morning we went to the Museum of Science and Technology since it is another crappy, rainy Ottawa fall day. Emily loved riding the snowmobile (twice) and going in the crazy kitchen (twice). Hope was a total trooper just riding/sleeping in the stroller.

Yesterday morning was Emily's first day at her playgroup and she loved it. So did Omi and I. It was so well done and the leader/teacher, Paul, was amazing. It is so refreshing to see a man doing something like this. The best part of it, from Emily's perspective, was riding this funky car contraption across the gym down this cool ramp and of course, then playing with the big bouncy balls. My only concern is when I have to take her there on my own with Hope in tow. Report will follow next week.

Well, both are asleep so time to do... something. Maybe clean a bathroom or just do nothing at all.

First day, kind of

Today was the first full day with both girls at home, with Emily finished daycare... kind of. It was sort of unreal because John's mom, Rose, is here for the week so I have quite a buffer from the reality that will set in next week.

It was a really fun day actually. We went to the Parkdale Market and park this morning. Of course, Hope cried in the car on the way there resulting in screams and crying from Emily as well. But, then I just popped Hope in the Hug-a-Bub and she slept until we got back in the car (at which point she repeated the trip there). We shopped in the market getting gorgeous apples, brocolli, etc and then Emily played on the swings and slide.

The only really bad part of the day was putting Emily down for her nap. She totally resists me leaving the room. In fact, "resists" is too mild a term. She full out freaks out. I had to dig my heals in and let her cry today. It took over half an hour, with me periodically standing outside her door reassuring her, until she fell asleep. I figure it will take about 3 days of that until she realizes that (1) she isn't going back to Dawn's (2) she realizes I'll be here when she wakes up and (3) she realizes she can't win.

After her nap, we went to the sandbox where she, Omi and I made sandcastles while Hope dozed in the pram.

On a negative note, Hope, at 3 1/2 weeks old, has caught Emily's cold. What happened to the immunities provided by breastmilk? I guess it is no defence against a toddler who spends time in daycare. Anyway, it seems like it is already on the way out, thank goodness.

On another negative note (will it stop?), I have yeast in my breasts and have again provided the entertainment in my house by painting my nipples purple with gentian violet in order to cure it. Of course, this also means that Hope looks like a miniature version of Chuckles the Clown. Oh, and you can also, by way of this photo evidence, see the development of the baby acne that I promised. Isn't she gorgeous?

What no one else will tell you....

that hemorrhoids are possibly as bad as the labour, birth and delivery all put together. I thought I had avoided the worst of it, being that it is now three weeks later. I was suffering a bit but able to manage it with a daily routine of Preparation H. But then, today happened... welcome, constipation. Welcome, a marble-sized (we're talking the large guys, not the cat's eyes) hemorrhoid that is requiring me to walk like there is a piece of lumber between my cheeks and to ensure that I always take a pillow to the car with me. The thing about it that is different than labour etc is that there is no obvious end in sight. My midwife gave me a list of some herbal remedies to try that are supposed to cure even the most chronic case of the roids but could I get them at my local natural food store? Of course not. Instead, according to them, I need to call a Shaman (yes, you read that right) or an herbalist. I'll be on that first thing tomorrow because the idea of pooping right now has me completely and utterly terrified which isn't exactly helping the problem. Beth, does Marlene have any quick fixes beyond the piece of witch hazel-soaked toilet paper that is currently wedged in my bum?

Not so bad but my organizational skills could use some work

The morning was pretty good actually. Emily was very good and was a good "Mummy helper." However, my organizational skills, which I've definitely prided myself on with just one child, definitely need work now that a second has been added to the mix. It took me quite a while to throw all the crap together I needed, get the crap and the two children into the stroller and head to the library. After that it all went well. The only problems really were: Emily throwing a complete fit after I turned off Barney resulting in her second "time out" of the morning; the realization that Hope is going to have to be extremely adaptable starting next week when Emily is home full time.

The reality is that Hope is going to have to figure out how to have a morning nap on the go. So far the morning is her toughest time for getting to sleep. This will coincide with the time that Emily needs activity (as we can't spend every day, all day, at home). Not sure how other parents do this but I'll have to poll my other stay-at-home mom friends and find out. Today was a difficult day for Hope and I am assuming it is because there was a lot of activity and her afternoon was also thrown off by a visit from a friend. I hope this doesn't mean that she will be needing a very strict routine because she just won't be able to get it in the morning. I figure she'll adapt though. She is only 3 weeks old so I have to expect some bumps at this point.

Damn cute that Hope, though.

Remember this face

Take a good look at this face. I noticed at 3 am or so last night that the baby acne has started. So, remember this cute face because we won't see it quite like this for about a month or so. Instead, we'll see a pubescent face pasted on top of a baby face. It will be quite something. I'll post photo evidence later. And, yes, her hand is really that big.

You have also, I'm sure, noticed the soother firmly planted in her mouth. Hope has developed a bit of a sucking addiction and being that my boobs can only take so much, I've given her a soother and she is quickly learning to take it and like it. Probably a little too much.

Emily is home tomorrow morning as Dawn has an interview (wah). I'll report back on how it goes... me with the two girls. Alone. Could be all Nanny-911ish or could be Mary Poppins-ish. I'm hoping for Mary Poppins. I've got her in me. She's made appearances before. Now I just have to go deep in there and draw her out for good.

A swaddled babe

The night after the one I wrote about below, I decided to try swaddling Hope. Emily never liked it/it never made a difference for her. But, for a lot of babies it offers a lot of comfort after the close confines of their original homes. Seems to be the case for Hope because it totally made a difference. Now, I breastfeed her, wrap her up, walk the floor for a couple of minutes and she is out. I put her in the Moses bed and she goes to sleep. Sometimes she may need to suck on my finger for a bit to really go to sleep but usually that is all it takes. We've also introduced the soother to her and she does like it but she still prefers boob or my finger to suck on to go to sleep. I'll keep up with the soother as well and maybe someday that will be an easy way for her to fall asleep. The only issue I'm really having with her sleep is her morning nap. She fights it but also needs it. I hope to work on that this week as well as work on getting her used to the sling and chest carrier (aka the hug-a-bub).

This morning we went out for dim sum with Dawn, John and Mimi. It was great. Emily loved it, Hope slept the whole time and John and I relaxed and had a great time. For Emily, one of the highlights was going to the bathroom to wash her hands. The second time she wanted to do this I sent her off with John to the bathroom. This is where it got good. Emily loves to do the play by play on everything going on around her. While in the bathroom with John someone came in to use the urinal. Emily: "Girl pee pee." John: "No, boy pee pee." Emily: "Boy pee pee." Man at urinal laughs. Man at urinal farts. Emily: "Boy toot toot." Man at urinal: "Sorry about that." Man laughs. Emily laughs. John must find urinal quickly to avoid peeing in his pants. Karen: when John tells her in car, cannot contain laughter. Laughs all the way home. Laughs when thinking of it in afternoon. Laughing now.

Was it too good to be true?

John and I have spent the last two weeks, since Hope's birth, telling people what a good sleeper, eater, baby she is. Then last night happened. It's like Hope suddently woke up and said: Hey, I'm a newborn. I'm supposed to make life a living hell for these people between the hours of 10:00 pm and 8:00 am.

It all started out as usual for Hope. Sleeping through supper and into the evening. She woke up around 9:00 and I fed her. Then she didn't go back to sleep until around 2:00. She wasn't even crying during that time though. The last three days she has had battles with gas. It doesn't make her cry but it does keep her unsettled, wanting to feed constantly (for solace I think) and makes her grunt like nobody's business. Until last night we were able to plunk her into her bed and within a couple of minutes she would be asleep with little or no fussing. Last night, after feeding her too many times to count, I'd plunk her in and then listen to a symphony of grunts, groans, fist sucking that rivalled many pig babies I've encountered. Well, maybe not the fist sucking. It was enough to keep John and I awake anyway and enough to drive us crazy. Every time I was back up and trying to get her settled. John stepped in to take over around midnight and had her sleep on top of him for an hour before trying her bed again. Within 8 minutes she was awake and sucking that damn fist!

I was back up, tried to feed her, but she was so tired she just fell asleep, then back in her bed. Two minutes later, awake. I jumped up, probably swore, put the bathroom fan on for some white noise and boom, she was asleep and slept until around 5:30 or so. Okay, so sometimes you think that you learn everything you need to know about babies after the first one (ie white noise) and sometimes your brain shuts down at 2:00 am.

After the last night feeding of 5:30, I put her back in her bed and decided to just ride through the grunting to see where it took me. After about 5-10 minutes, she was asleep and slept until around 8:45. Hmmm. This could mean that the hours of sleeplessness last night could have been avoided with 5-10 minutes of patience. I'm not going to overanalyze this or speculate. That could send me round the bend.

I've also realized that Hope has gone from very quiet go-to-sleeper to very loud grunter. She will wake up occasionally, grunt, and go back to sleep. The problem here is that she sleeps in a basket right beside our bed. I could move her into her own room but then I'd have to rely on her crying to tell me she is hungry and I don't want Emily to be disturbed, or I'd have to use a monitor which would totally defeat the purpose of getting her out of our room so we could sleep.

Well, I guess it was bound to happen eventually that we'd lose a night of sleep. Can't miss out on all the fun.

Just some pictures

Thanks, Beth

Beth just left. She was here for 8 amazing days. She was such a huge help. She did everything including cleaning, cooking, washing Hope's diapers every day, playing with Emily all day long, baking with Emily (help bake!), and more and more. I know that Emily will wake up tomorrow and her first question will be: "What Beth doin'?" We'll really miss Beth.

One of Emily's favourite activities of the week was helping Beth bake... every day. Through this Emily learned to lick beaters, crack eggs, etc.

Beth also spent some time with Hope although more of her time was with Emily which was totally what we needed. And who's kidding who... Emily is just more fun right now. I mean, Hope can't crack an egg to save her life.

So, Beth. Thanks. And don't buy the Kite Runner because it
is on its way to you via Amazon.com.

My comic

Emily's favourite thing of the last month or so is to constantly ask everyone what they are doing. To the point of torture really. Often I'll turn it around, after she asks me "Ma, what doin?" about 17 times, by saying, "what do you think I'm doing?" This is pretty effective actually. She either answers or gets confused.

Every Tuesday evening, we pick up a load of organic vegetables from an Ethiopian farmer who has a big organic farm east of Ottawa. It is a great deal. We pay $15 and get a load of veggies for the week. Emily loves the routine because we go to a park to get the veggies and there is a playground and sandbox there. Due to the birth of Hope, Emily and John went without me last night. Emily usually prefaces our arrival at the park with "vegtals... park... guy". Or some combination like that. Last night, John tells me, she kept saying: "Vegtal guy, vegtal guy" as they approached the park. John kept correcting her by telling her: "say Vegetable Man." and she did. On their arrival, she ran over to the farmer (who totally loves her since she is completely enraptured by his vegetables) and said: "Vegtal Man... What doin'?"

The birth of Hope

On September 7, 2006 at 11:35 a.m., Hope Lois Reyburn Walsh was born at our house.

It was the most amazing experience. Everything went exactly as we wanted minus a third degree tear.

My contractions woke me up around 1:15 a.m. on Thursday morning. I could tell these were the real thing this time. They weren't strong enough to keep me awake but I was too distracted to sleep so I got up around 2:30 and started cutting up fruit, organizing the basement etc. Unknown to me, John built a new shed, went for a 23km run, brushed his teeth, and recited the original lyrics to "Stairway to Heaven" (under its original title, "Boy this Joint is Big"). Ahem. It seems John has provided some edits while I stepped away. Back to the story... By 4:00, I was getting back pain that was difficult to deal with on my own so I woke up John and he came down to the basement with me and provided counter-pressure on my lower back. It really helped me get through the contractions pretty easily. Or so it seemed anyway. My contractions were getting steadily closer together so we decided at 5:30 a.m. to call my friend Pam who had graciously volunteered to take Emily to daycare or pick her up or do whatever we needed. So, we set everything up with Pam who aimed to be at our house at 7:00 around the time Emily normally wakes up. At 6:00 my contractions were 5 minutes apart so we called our midwife, Sarah. She talked to me (kind of) through a contraction on the phone and after listening to me and us speaking she decided she should come over.

I stayed in the basement while John got Emily going on her morning routine. Pam helped me through the contractions. This worked really well because nothing seemed too out of the ordinary for Emily except that it was Daddy instead of Mummy doing her morning. Sarah arrived as well around the same time as Pam and gave me a vaginal exam. I was 5 cm dilated. This was great news for me as I was moving along quickly, as Sarah had predicted. It gave me a motivation boost. Of course, my contractions slowed down as soon as Sarah arrived. This was actually helpful for me though because I needed to take a course of penicillin (I had tested positive for Group B Strep). This would have been difficult if my contractions stayed 5 minutes apart as it takes 20 minutes to take the course of antibiotics. The contractions moved to 10 minutes apart so it was easier for me.

After Pam left with Emily, Sarah suggested that John and I go back to bed for a while and try and get some rest between contractions. I think this was around 9:00 (I lost track of time a little, not surprisingly). This was great. I was able to doze off between contractions and breathe through a few. After a few more though I needed the counter-pressure on my back again so I would get on my hands and knees and John would do his thing again. I actually spent most of my early and active labour on my hands and knees. I was really worried about the baby turning posterior like Emily was - an experience I didn't want to relive. Staying on hands and knees is the best position to encourage baby to be in an anterior position. It totally worked for me. For most of my labour she was perfectly placed with her back towards my left side and then at the end of our rest session in our bedroom, around 10:00 a.m., I had four contractions come one right after another and during the last one I felt her move and then I had less back pressure all of a sudden and I was sure she moved into an anterior position. At that point, Sarah had come upstairs to check the baby's heart rate. She suggested that we move back to the basement where I planned to deliver her. On the way downstairs I had one more contraction - the piano served me well there. Then I got into the pool and right away started feeling a strong urge to push.

I got scared at this point because it was exactly the same feeling I had with Emily, yet even though I tried pushing her, I didn't get anywhere in bringing her down. However, that fear was replaced with elation when I heard Sarah call my other midwife, Claudia, and ask her to come as soon as possible. That made me feel great! I knew that things were happening just as they should. I heard Sarah tell Claudia that I was at 10 cm and ready to push. Another huge motivator. In fact, Sarah said to us that she hoped Claudia got there soon because she didn't want the baby to come until she got there. It made me feel like this would be quick. In reality, the pushing took an hour and 20 minutes but it felt like 15 minutes to me.

Pushing. Wow, there is some serious work. I think labour is labelled 'labour' just because of that stage. I have never exerted so much physical effort into anything in my life. The great thing though was that between the contractions I felt no pain and just rested and floated in the birthing pool. I pushed at first leaning over the side and grabbing John's legs while he put counter-pressure on my hips. After a while I started to cramp in my legs so Sarah had me flip over. I squatted and pushed and then, so Sarah could see better, I had my pelvis in front of me. During the breaks I just let my hips float up. Things were moving quickly and Sarah was having trouble seeing. Sometime during all this Claudia arrived with Cathy, a midwifery student. Sarah had me focus all my energy on my pushes by having me stay as quiet as possible during the pushes. This really helped too. Anyway, I crowned, Sarah held me back from pushing further but during the next contraction, Hope's head came out with her hand up around her face. The speed of that and her hand resulted in a big tear. I could tell - not from pain, but from how quick it happened. I just assumed that I tore. I think that if I had left the tub for the delivery the tear wouldn't have been so bad but I just wasn't willing to move.

So, after that I felt that I had done it. John had to remind me that it wasn't over yet. I had to stay focussed. Quickly, her shoulders came (which hurt more than the head, by the way) and then she was out, on my chest, and having her cord unwrapped from her neck (it was around twice). No problem though. It was an absolutely glorious, empowering experience. I really felt like I had accomplished, with John, something huge. And poor John only suffered from squished fingers, legs and some pelvic bruisng of his own. I won't embellish.

We left the now very gross pool and I delivered the placenta. Hope was wrapped up beside me soon after that, sucking on my finger but clearly ready to breastfeed. We got going on that while we waited for another midwife, Sandra, known to be an expert suturer to arrive. Sandra spent 30 minutes repairing my 3rd degree tear. I was so thankful for her expertise. Otherwise, I would have had to transfer to a hospital for suturing and be admitted. That would have royally sucked.

After that it was just a really beautiful time of a group of women (and one great guy), laughing and talking, drinking tea and eating toast while listening to Claudia play the piano upstairs. Turns out she was playing a hymn: Oh God, Dear Womb. Very cool indeed.

You know, the idea of uterine rupture never even crossed my mind during the delivery. I just felt that everything was happening as it should - my body was doing what it was designed to do, the baby was doing what she was supposed to do. None of those fears that OBs put into our heads about VBACs entered my mind. I think that came from a lot of research on my part and the total confidence and joy of the midwives that were with me.

After everyone left, John, Hope and I were left to sleep the rest of the afternoon away in the basement. Emily had supper at Pam's and was thrilled to come home and meet her sister. Since then it has pretty much been perfect.

Still nada

Still no news. Obviously. Although I've stepped up my natural induction "remedies." I just got back from a really long walk and I was contracting on the way home but, of course, that has stopped now. I'm taking LOTS of oil of evening primrose. I'm drinking LOTS of raspberry leaf tea. Yes, I've had sex. And this afternoon, I'm whipping out the breast pump to try that out. I've also tried some accupressure. But, I've also come to realize that this baby will come when it is time for it to come, probably in spite of all the things I'm trying.

What would be nice is if people would stop asking me "No baby yet, eh?" No, no baby yet. But thanks for ensuring I don't feel any pressure. I'm sure that helps.

I gave in

I saw this costume in Old Navy and gave in. Emily said she wanted it and I obliged. Until now I have not done anything Hallowe'eenie with Emily. But this year I thought it would be fun to find a community party or something and so I was on the lookout for a costume. Now that I've dressed her in it (its a purple dragon by the way... the picture isn't great quality so it is kind of hard to tell), I'm kind of glad I went for it... for the pictures alone. Oh, and of course the fact that no good parent would allow a 2-year old to eat all that candy by herself. That would be irresponsible.

Squirrel is asking for it

It also seems that the squirrel has a death wish. John watched him climb the screen door again this morning heading towards the hole again. John was in the kitchen so scared him off before he got there (the glass door was closed anyway) but it seems we might have to take some serious action against squirrel. And I'm not talking cayenne pepper.

I thought it was happening

Yesterday starting around noon I felt very crampy and it seemed to be happening in regular sort of intervals. By evening, it had developed into definite contractions. So, I prepared everything in the basement so we'd be ready if it developed into a more established labour. By 9:00 in the evening, I decided to time the contractions and they were 11 minutes apart. Not very strong though - just tight, achy and some pressure. I could definitely talk through them. I got on the exercise ball and stayed there for a while. By 10:00, we went to bed and I was able to sleep through them and by 1:30 they were gone. So, I guess it was early labour/practice labour. Anyway, things must be close to happening ... stay tuned!

What happened to my spine?

I was taking a nap this morning after I dropped Emily off at Dawn's. After sleeping for an hour, I heard a noise downstairs. I went to check it out and found a black squirrel sitting on the bake table in the kitchen. I had left the glass patio door open so it was just the screen door there. But, this is something I always do and it's never a problem. It wasn't ajar. However, I could see two smallish holes about chest height (see photo evidence). The damn squirrel had obviously jumped from the deck railing onto the door and clawed its way in to get at my oh-so-delicious banana bread.

It was freaked out when it saw me. In my infinite wisdom, I yelled at it (hoping to scare it back through its entry way) and then when that didn't work, I smartly chucked something at it. Of course, all this did was force it to leap through the opening to the living room and hang out in there. So, I opened the screen door hoping it would return to the kitchen and run out the back.

I grabbed a mop and went into the living room. I jabbed towards it trying to make it flee back through the opening to the kitchen. No luck. It ran by me towards the front screen door and took a flying leap onto that screen which, of course, only frustrated the squirrel. It took another run at it. By this time, I was on the phone with John who encouraged me to use the mop, chase it, etc, etc. My biggest worry was that it would head upstairs. I didn't want the thing in the bedrooms and I didn't want to have to follow it up there.

Of course, its next course of action was to go upstairs (you could've guessed that, right?). So, back on the phone with John. He suggested I go get Kumar (our neighbour) to help me. Of course, Kumar wasn't home. So, rather than chase it upstairs, I propped open the front screen door now giving it two wide openings to the outside and I sat in the living room (mop in hand) and waited for it to come back downstairs and peacefully make its way outside.

I should say at this point that people with spines would have just gone upstairs but here's the thing for me: I hate squirrels. I hate them in houses, cottages etc. I don't even like them much outside. Last summer I became known around the cottage as Mengele because I waged war on a brood of squirrels that were constantly coming into the cottage, eating our food, running along the wiring in the ceiling etc. They were hissing and climbing the walls. I tried the humane approach but eventually about 6 squirrels ended up going swimming and being buried behind the shed (and thus the name Mengele was applied to me). It was the killing fields.

The squirrel of today was a large, black squirrel rather than the smaller, red squirrels at the cottage. This was a different league. These guys seem a little more vicious and I feel pretty vulnerable when squirrels are in my house/cottage and are perched above my head where they can easily fly towards my face, claws flying. So, that is why I wanted no piece of chasing it upstairs. I also wanted to see it go out a door and I thought that if I chased it from upstairs I wouldn't necessarily see it leave (leaving me to wonder if it was still somewhere in the house/vents).

So after I came back from confirming Kumar wasn't home, John phoned to tell me he was borrowing a car and coming to help me. Thank me stars! He came home and within five minutes the squirrel was flying out the front door (really, it was flying). I closed everything, told John he was my hero, he laughed at me and my pathetic (yet well-grounded) fear of squirrels and was on his way. I went back to the kitchen to clean up (luckily there wasn't too much of a mess). As I was sweeping I saw a movement on the deck.

It was the squirrel. He was peering up at the hole he made and clearly wondering if he could get back in. Honestly, can you blame me for waging my war on these things? I don't think the gene pool is missing those six from last summer. Natural selection. If these guys dare to come near me, then they deserve what they get. Unfortunately, there is no lake nearby for me to test out his swimming skills so I'll have to put up with him until something else higher on the food chain gives him what's coming to him.

The plus side to all of this, is that I'm hoping the stress/excitement will put me into labour because I'm really ready to have this baby.

New technology

Before I left work, everyone there pitched in and gave me $175 to put towards a digital video camera. I bought it today. Yes, it was certainly more than $175. I made up the rest and hope that other gifts from parents etc will result in covering a good part of the remaining amount. I know John doesn't think it should have been at the top of the priority list but it is really the only thing I wanted that was kid related. I just feel that years from now I will really want to see Emily in action during her cutest, funniest, most playful moments and that will definitely be worth whatever amount we have to make up to cover the cost.

The camera is currently charging and tomorrow I'll be able to film. Should be much fun for me and torture for everyone around me.

I thought I'd left that behind for a while

When I walked out of the office on my last day on July 28 I thought I'd said goodbye to the bureaucratic annoyances in being a civil servant that I often complain about here (and anywhere else I can). No such luck. Last Wednesday went by with no pay. Then Thursday, Friday and so on. I emailed my pay clerk who was away and left no forwarding name. He's back today and to his credit, answered my email at 7:43 this morning. In another example of government efficiency, they stopped my direct deposit. I guess they figured I will have all the time in the world to be depositing cheques when I'm on maternity leave. Who finds direct deposit handy after all? To top it off, they didn't even mail the cheque to my house. Oh no... they decided it would be more convenient if they sent it to my division so that I could drive across the city and pick it up! Needless to say, I have politely requested that direct deposit resume, which it will from now on.

If this was a one-off I wouldn't complain so much. I'd chalk it up to human error, too much to do, yada, yada, yada. However, this exact same problem happened at the beginning of my last maternity leave! Oh yes, it did! I guess you can't fault them for being inconsistent in their inefficiency.

Lazy, lazy, lazy

Beth got after me the other day for being so delinquent in my blog posts. She's right. It's been a sad demise in the posts around here. You'd think that since I finished work at the end of July that would leave me ample time to post witty narratives. You'd think. Instead I have done the following: spent a week at the cottage, painted the baby's room and Emily's room, set up the baby's room and Emily's room, cleaned the rest of the house from top to bottom, reorganized the basement, taken almost daily naps (very important), cooked cooked and cooked some more putting those meals in the freezer, had tea with Meredith and others, kept Emily home a few days, went with Emily and the daycare to the local zoo (it turns out there is a zoo in Ottawa. Who knew?). So, I guess that's a lot. However, I have also spent my time watching the last season of Alias with John and now season 2 of Veronica Mars. Oh yah, and stretching various parts of my pelvic region.

So, some news of the last two weeks then. (1) Birth pool has been delivered. It is set up. Picture attached. It is empty of course as I don't really want to grow algae as I wait for #2 to make his/her appearance. You're probably asking why the heck I need a pool in my basement when hospitals have big birthing pools. Think about it. You'll probably come up with the answer. I'll confirm that for you after it is all over. (2) Daycare closing... again. What is up with our luck? Dawn told me last week that due to arthritis in her knees (just recently diagnosed) - she is under 40 by the way - that she has to go back to a regular desk job as the pain is too much. Sucks! Again! So, she is closing the doors at the end of September. This leaves me with potentially 3 or 4 weeks with the new baby before Emily is with me fulltime as well. I know lots of parents do this and I should stop whining but I was expecting to at least have October before I went down to part-time at Dawn's. With no family in town, the idea is a bit overwhelming but I'm getting used to it now. After today, a great day with Emily who was at the top of her game - funny, cute, really well-behaved etc - it doesn't seem like it would be so hard at all. Anyway, you'll be hearing all about it on the blog.

On a related note, I put Emily on the waiting list for a spot at a French preschool starting in February 2007. Dawn's daughter will also be there. I'm going to have her go part-time until I return to work, should I do so in September. Anyway, that's where it is all at. I'm not going to look for another home daycare for her in the meantime. The transition for her is too hard and I'm at home. She can be with me and be happy even if I am more tired that I planned to be.

Okay, there is the update.

No action on the baby front so far although there are some signs of the impending birth: pelvic pressure (read, popped a hemorhoid. Mmm, nice), cramps, baby has dropped. Will try to be better about posts. And of course there is the upcoming: nasty details about the birth that you didn't want to know.

Happy Second Birthday, Emmy!

Today my munchkin turned 2! She had a wee birthday party at daycare, which I joined in for, and then at home she had her favourite dinner: shawarma, followed by opening her presents. John and I gave her a little tea set and some stickers and Omi gave her a tricycle. She loved her first ride!

It seems so short a time ago and yet a long time ago that she was born. She's grown up so much and yet I feel I've been able to experience a lot of it and will do so even more this year. She's so special, so much fun. I love you monkey.

A great week and now a new countdown is on....

This entry is going to be very newsy, short of wit but hey, I've got a lot to get down here and little energy. This pregnancy has reached the point of "I want this baby to be born but at the same time I have way too much to do so please don't come yet. But wait, I'm just so tired... how will I get it all done? Don't come yet! But then, if the baby stays in there, I'll continue to be tired. Ach! My brain is being eaten by pregnancy hormones." Anyway, here is all our news of the last week and maybe soon I'll be inspired to be funny, witty, or at least sarcastic.

We had a great week at the cottage last week. Of course, John had a brutal sinus cold the first three days so that sucked but Emily and I had a great time. She was so much better this year at the cottage. She loved swimming - spent time playing on her "plane" (her name for the windsurfer board), in her baby float, riding John's shoulders, and "paddling" in the canoe (she likes to sit on the seats and hold a big paddle. Note: must find her a child-sized paddle for next year). She also loved just playing in the cottage and on the (new) deck, exploring around the cottage and playing with the bubbles. On Thursday, my dad, Donna, Beth and Graeme all arrived with two dogs in tow so Emily was even happier. She absolutely thrives on having people around - she is a very social animal. More people to show off for, ask "what doing?" and ham it up for.

While we were there, Jannie and Mark Henkelman joined us for the afternoon and evening for some bocci, some good food (patting my own back here) and some birthday cake for Emily. Emily turns 2 on August 11 (Friday already!) so I made a birthday cake for her. She was clearly thrilled to have everyone sing for her and for the next two days she kept asking for birthday cake. I caved and gave in almost every time. Hey, if she got to eat more, so did I.

No vacation with a toddler is complete without some injuries of course. Emily had her share: stepped on a bee, face-planted against the edge of a table getting her first fat lip, and then the whopper: fell down the front steps of the cottage landing on the rocks at the bottom, on her face. Perfectly round bruise on her forehead and several scratches on her nose. Check out the next photo for the evidence. I guess I'll put off that picture at Loblaws for a couple of weeks.

Emily slept in a "big bed" while at the cottage. The first night was a bit rough but after that it was all shits and giggles. She was thrilled and announced it every morning by shouting: "Emily! Big bed! Sleep!" Sleep. Yes, that would be nice past 7:00 am. Ah well. At least the peace of the lake was ours and ours alone for the first few hours.

So, now she is in her big bed at home as of tonight. Of course, after about 10 minutes she somehow had wedged herself between the mattress and bed rail. I only knew this when I heard her say through the monitor: "Emily uh-oh. Boom. Careful. Careful." I ran up and there was her little body suspended in midair. Yes, my heart was pounding thinking that she could have been caught at the neck. Needless to say two dining room chairs are now wedged against the bedrail, a towel shoved into the space and tomorrow I will be at Toys R Us buying the more expensive but safer bed rail that claims to eliminate this problem (which they point out can result in death or severe injury. Great, I'm sure I'll sleep just fine tonight).

It was great to spend time with Beth and Graeme. Especially at the cottage. And also fun, as always, to see the colour of Beth's hair. She chose this time to go with the Ronald McDonald colour I chose last year and which I still am paying my hair dresser to get rid of. We decided that it is far better on short hair. Much less Ronald McDonald.

Emily is back at Dawn's this week while I get things organized here, cleaned and do some cooking. So far I've only managed to clean two bathrooms (we have four), finish painting Emily's room, and read my current book "Julie and Julia," which I totally love. Oh and nap. I must nap more. I thought I was going to fall asleep standing up. I have more to organize this time than usual. More on that in a future post, after this baby is actually born.

Anyway, it is now time for bed, reading my book etc. The book has now taken me to the point where I actually made Julia Child's salade nicoise for supper tonight. Man, French cooking creates a lot of dishes. Tastes great, less filling, burn off calories doing dishes. I see now why French women don't get fat.

The countdown is seriously on

Maternity leave. It is within my grasp... by, like, three days! My last day of work is this Wednesday (today being Monday). After that, I begin holidays for two weeks and two days and then officially start my maternity leave on August 14 and have no plans to return to any employment situation until September 4, 2007 at the earliest. And if somehow I strike it rich before then... then, hah! Screw you, land of paid employment!

The next few weeks will be fun, but tiring I expect. Emily's daycare is closed for holidays this week and next so Thursday and Friday I am looking after her (John is on duty today until Wednesday). During this week I must also finish painting her room. Then on Sunday we're all off to the cottage for a week or so. I have been looking forward to that all summer. I am going to float my big, fat body in the lake feeling all weightless and skinny until my skin is so wrinkled that I look like an octegenarian whose reproductive system didn't quite get it right.

About half way through our week there, Beth and Graeme are going to join us. I'm very pumped about this since I only see Beth about twice a year and that isn't enough. It is especially sweet to be at the cottage with her since we essentially grew up there, during summers at least. I envision some minor construction, some bakery on the beach and some water ballet. She'll know what I mean about the last two.

Then after our return home, Emily will return to daycare for a while until she goes part-time and I will do my best to do some advance cooking and serious sleeping which just isn't going well these days.

I'm so focussed on "optimal foetal positioning," as the experts call it, that I sleep almost entirely on my left side. This means an extremely sore hip and shoulder. I'm such a martyr. It does seem to help though with the baby's position along with spending at least 30 minutes on my hands and knees while watching our new favourite show, Veronica Mars, on DVD. Seriously, check it out.

Until now the horrible situation in Lebanon has not affected me directly at work. But now, my workload is increasing quickly as a result, and so, I must cut off my amusing ramblings and turn my attention to what I am supposed to be doing to earn my keep.

That'll do

After every meal, the ritual is that I get a face cloth, wet it, and wash Emily's hands and face. She knows this, expects it. In fact, if I'm too slow getting to that stage, she'll say: "Mummy, face?"

Last night we ate dinner on the deck. The face cloths are kept in the kitchen. She must have realized she was in a bind. I was standing next to her high chair starting to remove her tray when she said "Mummy, shirt?", grabbed the hem of my rather nice top... and wiped her face with it.

Resourceful, hygenic. That's my girl.

She's found a new drug

Last week it was Blue's Clues. This week it is Barney. Yes, that big, purple dinosaur of the 1990s has invaded our house. In all honesty, I much prefer Barney to Blue's Clues. There are actual things to learn on Barney (imagine that!) and there is no animation - a big plus for me. Emily absolutely loves Barney and loves all the songs that are sung. So, I gave in and actually bought a video. How could I turn it down when it was about Barney visiting a farm... Emily's other major addiction?

Hopefully this will help get us through what we believe is another canine coming in (this will be number two). She actually handles it really well - but gets pretty tired and chews her fingers a lot. I can't really complain if that's the extent of it. What a trooper!

Beth is back from PQ. Her only sustained injury is an ulcer in her eye. Who knew you could get an ulcer in your eye? Ick though. Nasty.

Some new pictures just because....

Emily's crack-cocaine

There are certain things you have to get used to when your child is in a home daycare. The main one is that the care provider probably does a number of things differently than you would. For me, with Emily at Dawn's house, this is T.V. Emily doesn't watch T.V. (or never used to) at our house but since she has been at Dawn's she has been introduced to two programs that they watch every day: Dora (ick) and Blue's Clues (tolerable). Emily has developed an addiction to Blue's Clues. She seems to have figured out that we don't watch it at home but it hasn't stopped her from talking about it or asking for it. A lot.

John has been working hard to get Emily to say please and merci (easier than thank-you). She's starting to do so without being prompted but still needs reminding sometimes. This morning we were all in the car driving to Dawn's. Emily was starting her typical "I'm bored" routine - high pitched squeals, asking for things we can't provide, and of course begging for us to sing Wheels on the Bus. Finally, she decided she wanted her little Pooh Bear book which was just out of her reach. John handed it to her and said: What do you say, Emily? She responded "Blue's Clues!"