It finally happened!

If you've been reading along here this year, you know that The Fairy Blogmother and I have tried and failed to meet up more than once, having to cancel both times due to sick kids.

And the clock is ticking. We're pulling out of this here region in exactly two weeks today (ACK! You'd think we'd have more packed).

And so we hastily wrote back and forth and set upon today as the new date for a meet-up. Both our husbands were suspect that it would ever happen - my car would meet a herd of cows on the way, a meteor would block the road, aliens would abduct Shannon - SOMETHING would stop this from happening.

But HAH! We proved them wrong and I arrived at Shannon's lovely house in her lovely town today around 10:30. The kids showed now hesitation and were frolicking in the pool together in no time. Shannon and I started chatting and it didn't take long before we were sharing some of our deeper thoughts and secrets that we can't always let out on our blogs.

I realized later that as great as blogging is as a way to make new friends, you really can't start to know someone properly until you meet face to face and spend some real time together. That's what today was for me. Now I really feel like a deeper friendship has developed and I look forward to fostering that and of course, meeting up again next time we're in these parts.

And Shannon, in all her baking goodness, cooked us up an awesome batch of Rolo cookies. When she starts her baking business you all must order from her!

And you know it is a good visit when one kid leaves in tears because she wants to stay longer (that would be Hope).

And just so you all know that I didn't make this up, here is the photo evidence of our visit (we were too busy chatting to take any more photos):

A day I'd mostly like to remember

So after yesterday, today was a huge improvement. Probably because we actually left the house. Of course, we left the house, drove part way to Toronto, stopped for a Henry feeding, drove the rest of the way (with Henry mostly crying because he refused to feed at aforementioned stop), navigated many closed roads in downtown TO, stood in interminable lines in the CN Tower, ate street meat at 3:00 for lunch and then headed to The Beach to spend the rest of the day with my wonderful friend Deb and that was the part that I'd most like to remember about today. The girls and I had a great time at Deb's and having a picnic in Kew Gardens and it was a perfect way to end what started as a frustrating day.

Even though the CN Tower was heavy on lines and the wallet, I got some great photos:


The Dome was open all ready for the big soccer game: Manchester United vs. ? (can't remember). The local scalpers were quite taken with Henry and asked if he would be a soccer fan one day. A soccer fan who perhaps would buy tickets illegally from them?

Tomorrow promises to be awesome as well because I'm finally and truly going to meet The Blogmother in person!

A day I'd like to forget

Today was hard. Really, really hard.

Henry wouldn't sleep out of my arms. Each time that I laid him in his bed, our bed or the swing, he'd be awake again (and screaming) in under five minutes. In desperation I put him in the chest carrier (my wonderful Ergo) and walked and sweat and sweat and walked while he finally slept.

This is all new as of today. Up until now I was telling people when asked that Henry almost always stayed asleep after I laid him down and I wasn't lying. Bur today a switch went off for him that put a stop to that. And you know what? That seriously sucks.

I'm really tired now and frustrated and my nipples are getting worn out sustaining a baby that now weighs 14 lbs 10 oz; he's gaining over a pound a week. That puts him in the 97th percentile for weight!

In the midst of this lack of sleep I'm getting some smokin' biceps, a sore back and a frustrated family who is getting as tired as I am of hearing Henry cry.

John and I have been discussing letting Henry cry it out at some point if this continues but I'm not comfortable with that at such a young age and what I've read supports that. I also know, after two other babies, that this is unlikely to last long but there is that little fear inside me that this could be the new reality for a while.

However I'm faced with the fact that if he's fed, changed and can see me, the reality is that I will have to let him cry long enough for me to hug my girls, make lunch, do laundry, or pack boxes. Not crying it out, but still crying.

Packing is what is on my mind right now. In less than three weeks we're moving back to Ottawa and we have maybe six boxes packed. This isn't good.

I don't know how tonight will go but I'm not expecting much sleep.

I do know how tomorrow will go. I'm going up the CN Tower with my three kids and I'm going to have a great time regardless of how Henry is doing.

And then in the days that follow I will pack. And Henry will cry. And we'll all survive.


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More teeth going on the lam

Last night Emily declared she had another loose tooth. I was suspicious and made her prove it.

And there it was, right next to the original loose tooth, wiggling away! She'll soon have no bottom front teeth at all. Could make for a rather cute lisp.

I guess the teeth felt peer pressure to make a break for it.

The heat has driven me out of our home

We reached our breaking point last night at supper. Fairly new baby, record high temperatures, no air conditioning. John and I looked at each other. I said: call your mom.

We arrived at Omi's in St Catharines last night around 9:00 after the quickest packing, cleaning the kitchen and putting out the garbage job ever. Henry complained most of the way down. Henry screamed for an hour after arriving.

And yet.... TOTALLY WORTH IT.




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Emily's loose tooth

We stopped at a new-to-us burger joint for supper last night on our way home from an awesome week at the cottage (post on that to come later). The burger joint is Champ Burger. It is in Shelburne, Ontario right beside Super Burger, which we had tried last time and let me just say WORST. FRIES. EVER. Champ Burger wins the contest between the two and we'll stop there again for sure especially since I now have a very soft spot for Champ Burger and it has nothing to do with the burgers.

Emily has been complaining of a sore tooth for about a week now. I told her that I'd get her to the dentist this week to see what was going on. Last night at Champ Burger she mentioned it again so I decided to have one more look myself. I put my finger on the tooth and.... it moved! John and I had wondered if it was loosening and that was causing it to feel weird (more than hurt) and we were right.

I gave Emily a big hug... I couldn't help myself. This is a major rite of passage and something to celebrate. Emily was beside herself with excitement. I may have even seen tears of happiness in her eyes. She's been waiting for this for a while.

And as I suspected, the tooth in question (lower front) is the same one that was there when she was born. Yes, Emily had one tooth when she was born (can you say sore nipples?) but it receded after a couple of weeks and then popped back out at 3 months. It was her lone tooth until she was a year old. Now we'll be saying goodbye to it.

I have a feeling the tooth fairy may leave it for me to keep in the memory box.

Stuff

I've finally updated Henry 365 so check it out in the sidebar.

Tomorrow we're off to the cottage for about a week right after school ends. Tomorrow is Emily's very last day of kindergarten. I can't believe that can be true.

I'll blog occasionally from the cottage as the wee man allows... meaning when he isn't in my arms... which isn't often lately!

Not my best effort!

Oh man, was that a poorly crafted post. The sentiment was good but, boy, clearly not my best effort. Lack of sleep apparently affects my ability to write!

Henry at 1 month

Dear Henry,

You turned one month old last weekend. This week has seen you become so much more aware of everything around you. Your little bright eyes can focus on so many more things. You are still a baby who loves to be in arms and not set down much. You'll put up with a few minutes before squawking, which wears thin after a while, I admit. I try and remind myself that in a few months I'll look back on all the cuddles nostalgically rather than get irritated by having to hold you so much.

You also challenge me in getting you to sleep but lucky for us you take a soother and I've figured out that the best way to get you to sleep in the evening is to feed you and then rock you in our lovely avacado green rocking chair while you work on the soother.

Of course, your real preference is to use Mummy as a soother. You are a definite boob man and it shows in how big you are. Three weeks ago you weighed 9 lbs 3 oz (you were 8 lbs 11 oz when you were born 5 weeks ago) and this week you weighed in at 12 lbs 8 oz. I think I'm producing cream! You and I have worked really hard on your latch. I was motivated to get it right this time; I'm tired of sore nipples! And it has paid off in how much milk you are getting and how much easier (and therefore enjoyable) breastfeeding is now. My favourite part is still when you fall asleep on my after you're done feeding. A close second is how noisy you are when you breastfeed. I even recorded it. Emily declared that you sound like a flock of geese. I always thought Hope was noisy when she fed but you definitely win the prize. It's adorable.

I have to admit that you do challenge me sometimes and I get worn out. You're letting me get only 2 hours of sleep at a time but then I have to also remember that you are really easy to get back to sleep in the night and you don't really cry for any reason but wanting to be held and wanting to eat. You're pretty easy to cart around and you love the bath.

I know that these are early days and things will likely only get easier. I just have to enjoy the way you are now in the midst of our moving chaos and not wish you to be any different because really.... you are perfect just the way you are.

It's you I like, Henry.

Love,

Mummy

Oh Henry

Turns out that Henry is a very normal 1 month old. In other words, he's cranky when awake, wants to suck (on me) all the time, and fights sleep. Hope made sure I forgot what this was all like when she was a baby and made having her around downright easy. Henry's decided to remind me of why the first three months or so of a new baby.... kinda suck (although all the cuddles are still amazing).

And so don't except the following from me too often:

• a pleasant disposition
• good looking hair
• having showered recently
• freshly applied deodorant
  
• coherent blog posts or emails
• a clean house
• polite responses to comparisons of how tired a person is who doesn't have a new baby in the house
• photos of Henry every day (oops!)
• declining the offer of tea, liquor, a hot meal or any other kind of help

Not to mention those other two kids who like my attention occasionally. They're being awesome actually and I'm loving the hugs and support they're giving us in these early days.

Life in Waterloo: Living in a walking city

As I walked down King Street today heading to Uptown Waterloo with the girls and Henry, I breathed in the yeasty smell of Brick Brewery that permeated the street. As I pointed out the shiny vats in the Brick's windows to the girls and explained what the smell was from, we took note of the old house next door with the weathered sign "Brewer's Quarters". I told the girls how Waterloo has long been a centre of beer brewing. Only a few minutes later we walked by what used to be Labatt's (now a retirement home); in front sits a memorial to Waterloo's brewing tradition. If we'd continued further up King Street we would have walked by the wonderful Huether Hotel and Lion Brewery, still cooking up great batches of beer every day.

And it was at this point that I realized that my series "Life in Waterloo" fizzled out after one, or possibly two, posts. A brewing post would have been a nice addition. How sad. Also, how telling in regard to our busy year this year.

And it's not like I have more time now with a baby forever strapped to my chest or in my arms (a topic for another post... "Will I ever get him off of me?").

Life in Waterloo has been absolutely what I hoped it would be when we decided to return here for a year. In fact, it's been more than I hoped for. We luckily rented a house that allows us to walk everywhere we need to go: school, preschool, Uptown Waterloo for any number of reasons (Waterloo has hit the mark in reinventing its downtown affectionately called "Uptown" presumably because Kitchener is downtown King St - less confusing? You be the judge), grocery shopping, even movie theatres if we ever actually went there, friends' houses. There is so much to be said for living on foot or bike or stroller. And as we walk we see so many Waterloo-specific landmarks or people such as the breweries, the old Mutual Life building (now Sunlife), sometimes even an occasional horse and buggy driven by a family of Old Order Mennonites. And certainly there are memories for me given that I've lived here on and off since I left home for The University of Waterloo in 1991.

I'm going to miss my walking life in Waterloo. Today the girls and I (with an awake Henry in the buggy) walked to Dairy Queen, passed The Brick Brewery, over to Vincenzo's (a post unto itself almost... my, how I will miss Vincenzo's) for gift cards for teachers, then to the LCBO, then to Ten Thousand Villages for a midwife gift (not purchased as Henry was screaming by then) and then home again.

As an aside, by this point Henry was riding in my Ergo carrier on my chest and Hope was in the baby buggy. Why, you ask? Because Crocs suck. I HATE them. Used to like them. Now HATE them. I have a rule, in fact, that they are only beach shoes but somehow my two girls slipped out of the house with them on under my radar and Hope ended up with a doozy of a blister because of those dang shoes (if you can call them that) and so she rode home in what is essentially a pram. I must have been the sight. I imagine I inspired more than a few people who saw me to go home and renew their birth control prescription.

Tomorrow we walk to Hope's preschool for the last time this year. I'll relish the wildflowers growing by the railway tracks that we walk along, peeking into the backyards that I've come to watch through the seasons, sneaking through our "secret path" into the back of the church, meeting Emily and John on the way home in front of the school. I'll say goodbye to some of those landmarks but I'll remember them for a long time. And I'll miss them.

First cottage weekend

We're nearing the end of our first weekend at the cottage this year. Friday was beautiful here. We played on the beach and in the lake. The girls rediscovered all the cottage toys and its nooks and crannies.

Yesterday was rainy so we did some restocking in town and then were back outside in the afternoon.

Henry, being only three weeks old, is the youngest baby I've brought to the cottage. I had expectations of no sleep but he did fairly well with only one night of being awake A LOT. Last night he slept with me for a bigger portion and did much better. Although this morning he's refusing to get off me, The Dairy Queen, and take a nap.

The sun is shining again; the girls are playing at the beach; time to get out there.


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Location:N Mary Lake Rd,Huntsville,Canada

John wins....

the contest for best capture of Henry:

The wheels of government have gone turbo

Ready to have your mind COMPLETELY BLOWN? Okay, here goes....

I applied for Henry's birth certificate online (new to me... with the other two kids that option wasn't available... it was all snail mail) on May 27. His birth certificate was ISSUED on May 28 and ARRIVED in Waterloo for me to pick up on June 1.

Stop the presses, people. Armageddon has arrived.

To put it in perspective for you non-Ontarians... with the old system, it took a full two months to ever see a birth certificate.... IF YOU WERE LUCKY. (And then you had to get a passport after that if you wanted to cross the border making shopping at Target more than a little inconvenient. Ahem.)

To say that I'm a fan, is an understatement. To say that the government has surprised me, also an understatement. To say this will make me vote Liberal, yeah, UNLIKELY but still.... making me happy.

I'm thankful for....

• rain and cooler temperatures
• a good latch (and improving every day)
• a two-hour nap for me this morning (after literally being up almost all night)
• hot meals brought over by friends
• family and friends who invite the girls for playdates
• a healthy baby
• a hefty milk supply
• healing nipples
• good hemorrhoid medication (remember my experience with Hope?)
• a good duck and cover reflex when faced with Henry's impression of Manneken Pis
• an amazing midwife
• a friend who shows up and takes me to Starbucks for an hour (with Henry in tow)
• borrowed baby equipment, and:

an amazing partner who is going full out these days to make everything a bit easier for me and the girls

two amazing girls who are the best helpers and best friends

this guy. My threats to put him up on Kijiji after last night were just a joke. Seriously.

New photos of Henry

Yes, yes, I know... this whole photos of Henry thing is getting a bit played. Thing is that it is pretty much all I have time to post at this point although I have lots of other things I want to post about. Finding the time with three kids, one who is brand spanking new, is the challenge. So, here is a great photo we got of Henry and Hope a few days ago:

Henry 365

I've been told by more than one person who has three children that the third child ends up with even less photos of them than the second child did. I was talking about this with my good friend Marnie (now blog-outed!), wonder woman and captain of a house that contains four (four!) children. She suggested I do a pseudo Project 365 but have the subject only be Henry: a photo each day for a year. Thing is, I missed today but up until today (Henry's eighth day) I've been on a roll.

So, I've started a Flickr account where I'll try my best to have a photo a day of Henry up there. This will not be a lesson in photography skills or framing my best shots (heck, I don't even own photo-editing software). This is all about Henry and keeping track of his first year. I'll try and figure out how to put it in my sidebar (done!). I must highlight this photo that I took of Henry a few days ago though (I think it's pretty awesome):



And as for today? It was a breastfeeding un-friendly day but we seem to be back on track after help from my saviour, my midwife Mina who I triple-love. I want her to move in with us.

Henry update

(Photos now below! and additional text....)

This is bound to become the All Henry All the Time blog for a while. Indulge me.

Here is a quick trip down the last few days:

• John's mom has been here entertaining the girls, doing dishes, cleaning etc. It's been AWESOME. She just left. That's NOT awesome.
• Henry loves the boob. He's a champion breastfeeder, which is great. He is a terrible latcher right now. Not great. He screams and fusses when trying to latch him. This, along with my painful breasts, makes me wonder if I have candida (and thus he has thrush). I'm going to get some gentian violet later today to treat it just in case. (Ed. to add: after a meltdown by me and a call to my midwife and explaining how Henry is behaving, she declared it immediately a gas bubble and that I need to have him in an upright position for feeding when he is screaming like that when latching. She was right to a point. He still screams but gives up more quickly. It's still very stressful and crappy and he still is impatient about the milk coming when he finally does latch on. All in all, the usual for breastfeeding.)
  
• He sleeps about 2 to 3 hours at a time. He's very easy to get to sleep. He eats, he falls asleep on my shoulder/chest, I transfer him to his bed. Easy peasy for the most part.
• Last night he spent his night in the side-sleeper thingy (a co-sleeper crib-like thing attached to the side of our bed). Much better sleep for me resulted.
• He loves to be cuddled and held but is okay on his own too.
• Today will be our first walk in the stroller as I promised Emily I'd pick her up from school so she could show off her brother. (Ed. to add: Went well but maybe it was a bit early. I was exhausted when I got home.)
  
• The girls have reacted... as expected. They are totally in love with him and smother him with attention but they have also acted out with some tantrums, mischief, emotional ups and downs. We're being patient but some days the patience runs thin with my emotional child (Emily).

Henry

Henry John Reyburn Walsh, born yesterday, May 19, 2010, at 4:26 pm weighing 8 lbs 11 oz. Although we planned a home birth he ended up being born in hospital as his heart was showing signs of distress. Still a vaginal birth though and we're all great.

Remember this hair

I have naturally curly/wavy hair. With a bit of work and the right products, it has loose curls which have been looking (if I do say so myself) freaking awesome this year. I rarely even blow it dry anymore and I'm still lucky enough to be happy with it most days.

Sadly, after I had Hope, my hair went totally limp and didn't get its curl back until about a year ago. So I'm prepared that I'll be back to poker straight and/or limp hair for a while after this baby comes and I'm breastfeeding for a while. And the reality is that it will be in a pony tail a good amount of the time.

The profile photo I have in the sidebar is from the era when I embraced my straight hair (something I'd dreamed of for a while because I battled with my curls/waves for many years) and had a bob cut.

This year I've fallen in love with my curls again since I re-learned how to treat them and get them looking good. I know I'm being a bit vain here but I figure I'm due since my hair often falls into the "whoa, were you just in a windstorm?" category.

Today I had my pre-birth hair cut. The stylist knows what to do with curly hair. I decided I better document how awesome it is looking right now (again, shameless ego boosting... it will end soon, I promise) before I potentially go into the limp stage or stage of not showering regularly anyway. And so, here it is in all its glory:



As an added bonus you get a peek at our student-ghetto of a house that we've occupied this year. I still owe a tour of this place and will do that soon... pre-baby... because there are some parts that are definitely worth showing off.

A very special afternoon

So first off, obviously... it was not the night. Thankfully I'm still pregnant and I'm assuming that I have about three weeks to go. Good. Because I have several things I would like to accomplish between now and then, mainly on the domestic maintenance front.

This afternoon I had my closest Waterloo friends over for a belly casting party. A belly cast is a popular way of preserving a pregnant woman's shape. It's usually done in the few weeks before birth. The basics are that the pregnant woman, with the help of friends/partner/professional belly caster (not necessary but I presume they get a really smooth finish on the cast), gets naked, slathers her body in Vaseline and then applies pre-plastered bandages (the kind doctors use to make casts for broken bones) to the torso, chest etc. You wait for it to dry and then wiggle out of it - the belly dance. After letting it dry for a few days, I can decorate the cast if I want. That will be a project for the girls and I in a few days.

My friends (Tamara, Jewel, and Sue (John's sister) ) arrived and we bunkered down with food, drink and chatting. My girls were so excited to have everyone come over; they could barely contain themselves. To the point of annoyance of their mother in fact. But, when the first crew arrived, with cousins in tow, they took off playing. We visited until Marnie arrived and then we got down to business with the casting. I stripped down to just my underwear and then we all started plastering me. The kids each had a turn as well - Emily was the most keen and kept putting more plasters on. Kennedy, the oldest cousin, hid behind the couch until my naked body was well-covered and then she started to peek over the top. It was really fun and really meaningful for me to have all my wonderful women helping me preserve these last few weeks of what will be my last pregnancy. I was glad that Julie arrived in time to stick on a few plasters.

It didn't take long to dry. After it was sufficiently hardened, I wiggled (what Emily called my belly dance) until I could pop out of it. It was nicely glued to my underwear so I had to pull and pry at those until I could unlatch it and then I was out and into the shower.

After the cast was done and I was clean, we went back to visiting, laughing, drinking and eating while Jewel gave me a heavenly foot soak and massage. Can you see why this was such a special afternoon?


I'll put up more photos as I get them. I'm going to remember this day for a very long time.

Tonight's the night?

My chiropractor told me today that she thought I would have the baby tonight. She was quite adamant about it. She said she "just had a feeling."

I'm willing to be at least 50 bucks that that is not going to happen.

However, my second midwife, Nasrin, who I totally LOVE, told me today that the baby is engaged and things could happen anytime although she expects me to deliver at 38 or 39 weeks. Of course, 38 weeks is in just five days (!). She was seriously excited about this. She's a passionate midwife and I love her attitude and approach. She also made my day when, after I mentioned that I'm a home VBAC (vaginal birth after ceasarean), she said: "Oh no, you're not a VBAC anymore in my opinion. You already VBAC'd. Now you're just a natural childbirther." I could have kissed her right there...which may have been awkward.

I'm pretty much ready with supplies and whatnot. We're having another homebirth which requires us to have a few things ready (by us I mean me, of course). I have almost everything in a bin... a bin that is clearly too small so later tonight I will transfer everything to a larger basket and then check against my list to make sure I do have everything in there I need. It's a pretty simple list really: towels, plastic tablecloths, something to use as hot compresses (I like to use cloth prefold diapers), a mirror (optional), olive oil, the "hospital supplies" kit from the midwives (includes hospital-grade stuff like peri bottle and those blue sheet things), thermometer. I'll be getting the tub from the midwives a few days before my due date which may mean I won't get to use it. Which would suck because it really helped me last time.

And as I write I'm boiling my herbal bath mixture that I'll use right after the birth for me and the baby. After it's boiled 20 minutes, I strain it, separate into two containers (so I can have another herbal bath the day after the birth) and then freeze it until the big day.

Next week my primary midwife, Mina, comes for a home visit and I'll also have my first internal which will give me some indication perhaps of any dilation that's already happened. (I do feel like I'm walking with a melon between my legs sometimes.)

Yesterday I was struck down with my first bout of sciatica. For those of you out there with chronic sciatica: YOU HAVE MY UNDYING SYMPATHY. It totally sucks and is extremely painful. I'll be glad to say bye-bye to that. Of course, it's a good excuse to not have to do the dishes since standing for any length of time makes it much more frequent.

And now, belly shots (I swear I look much bigger... or at least feel much bigger... in real life. And certainly people's reactions when I'm out and about make me believe that they think so too):

The birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees....

So here is the question: Can I get this post written and up in the 30 or so minutes I have before I leave to get Emily from school?

The thing is, this post is about a newsy, current, heavy, sensitive topic that I have very strong opinions about and when I have strong opinions I tend to go on. And on. And on.

The topic is twofold really: (1) sex education and (2) talking about sex with your kids.

Okay, first. Most of you know I attend church regularly. In fact, I'm a member of a Mennonite Church. No, I don't drive a buggy and I do have electricity. Yes, I do like doughy foods and most members of the sausage family. And pie. Lots and lots of pie.

However, I'm not what people refer to as "culturally Mennonite." Which means my last name is not Friesen or Janzen or Heidebrecht. In fact, my family, going back several generations, belonged to a denomination called Plymouth Brethren. If you can imagine one of the most conservative evangelical groups going and then put a head-covering on me, you've got the Plymouth Brethren.

And so you can imagine what I learned about sex. Don't do it unless you're married. And until then you pretty much need to know nothing about it and don't even mention homosexuality because all those people? Well, you won't be seeing any of them in heaven. And as for abortion? Well, we all know about that because we've all been to the pro-life rallies, right?

In actual fact, I learned about sex at a friend's house from a book her mother bought her. My parents never sat me down to talk about it. My mother did attend our Grade 6 health class when sex was introduced and was very comfortable and supportive in the conversations in that class but to be honest, the class was a lot more about having your period than anything else. I'm not even sure if sex was discussed. I do remember health class in further grades when sex became part of the curriculum. By then my very-conservative church upbringing was firmly entrenched so the sex part was off the radar for me. And if I remember correctly, most of the classes were about what it was like to have a baby and why we shouldn't do that as teenagers.

Needless to say, I've changed a lot since then. I'm extremely liberal in my views; I believe so many different things now about sex and so many other subjects... and strongly believe them: my views on sexuality and abortion are the opposite side of the fence from what I was taught as a kid. And I'm so happy that I was able to make that shift, through my own intellectual pursuits and discussions and meditations on these subjects. (Just as an aside, this all jives very easily with the Mennonite churches that I attend. Of course, members have differing opinions but that seems to be all okay and there are many, many people who have the same opinions that I do.)

And that brings me to sex education. If you've been following the news in Ontario recently, you know that the government introduced a new sex ed curriculum, got a big backlash from a few religious minority groups (mainly right-wing Christians and Muslims) and then rescinded the curriculum promising more extensive consultation and a new go at it. If you followed the story closely like I have, you would also know that the original consultation was extensive, had the support of many religious groups and educators and did not go as far as many countries and even some Canadian provinces do.

To give a succinct run-down of the new curriculum: proper names of body parts taught in Kindergarten, homosexuality introduced in Grade 3 as a right that must be respected by law (and what it means), safe sex - all forms - in Grade 6-8 I believe and continuing conversations from there that seemed to point us down the right path for our kids and the decisions they would be forced to make. It made a lot of sense to me and I applauded it. As did many other parents I spoke to.

Our kids need to know this stuff. The earlier the better. Nations that have early and open sex-ed have lower rates of STIs and teen pregnancies. Canada is doing well on those fronts but we could do better. This curriculum was a first step. Those who were rallying against it are fooling themselves if they think their kids don't need to know this stuff or that they won't participate. And knowledge is power here, folks. The more they know, the better choices they can make.

My own experience made me decide long before I had kids that when my kids one day asked me about sex, I would be open and honest and not deflect any questions as long as they were old enough to understand the concepts. It is part of animal and human nature and there is nothing to be ashamed of... and I'm not just talking about heterosexual sex in the missionary position either. I also know that if you delay, the kids will be embarrassed to talk about it with their parents. Because, ew... parents having sex. So gross to a kid over the age of 8 or so. The younger they are when you have the conversation, the better.

So when Emily asked me two weeks ago "How did the baby get in there?", I told her. We had a good conversation, probably the first of many on the topic, one evening. I didn't get into the pleasure side of sex... just the functional. I didn't talk about homosexuality... just the process of baby-making. There is time for all that later. But right now she knows the mechanics and she has brought it up a couple of times since in conversation showing me that she gets it. She thought the whole thing was pretty funny, which is about what I expected. As she gets older, I know she'll still get embarrassed about talking about this with me... that's just normal. But at least I planted the first seeds of knowledge and she learned it from me, not from a book or t.v. or a friend. The conversation will be ongoing. I hope that before she starts to feel weird about talking about this with me, we'll have lots more conversations... hopefully stemming from a strong school sex-ed curriculum.... that will lead to good choices and a feeling one day that she can talk to me about anything and expect an honest answer.

This is a touchy subject but an important one. How do you approach it in your house? What were your feelings about the Ontario curriculum changes?

(Phew, made it with a few minutes to spare!)

Operation "Prepare for Baby" coming along well

Today I planned to finish moving all the baby stuff that is currently taking up space in the sun porch to an upstairs closet so that everything is easily accessible.

That totally didn't happen.

However, I did take the new baby papasan, a lovely gift from my friends Tamara and Julie, out of the box and put it together. It only donned on me today that it was probably in several pieces and I should assemble it while I have a decent amount of sleep under my belt. I love that little chair and can't wait to have a baby cozying up in it.

I also started the formidable job of cleaning the fridge. The bowl of compostables I've collected so far is something you may have seen on Fear Factor at some point. I'm not quite finished but I'm well on my way.

Tuesday will likely become my sun porch day. I also have to finish sewing living room curtains. We've been here for 10 months now and I still haven't finished the curtains. John told me this would happen. I argued until I was blue in the face that I would FOR SURE GET THE CURTAINS DONE BY CHRISTMAS STOP BEING SUCH A PESSIMIST.

It kills me to say he was right but.... ugh, he was right.

Curtains are high on the list as our neighbours don't likely want to watch me birthing this baby if they can avoid it and this baby is likely to be born in the vicinity of the as-of-yet-uncovered windows. Priority, high.

And also on the baby front, Hope is completely in love with this in utero baby. Every morning, she finds my belly and starts kissing and hugging it and saying exactly this: "Good morning, baby. I missed you. I love you, baby. And you love me." Repeat. The night routine is very similar. "Good night, baby. I love you. And you love me. I'll miss you. See you in the morning."

It is really freaking cute. Not as cute when she wakes up crying in the middle of the night because "I miss baby. I need to kiss baby." Cuteness gone at that point.

A New York State of Mind (this is a long one, friends)

It seems that if I wait for this cold to be gone, I'll be post-birth by then so I'm sucking it up, promise not to complain (much) and I'm going to give you the play-by-play of our time in New York City.

First off, New York is an amazing city to be in with kids.... if you've been there before on your own. Not to say you can't go for the first time with your kids, I just think there would be less stress and less figuring out where you are and where you're going if you've been before sans enfants. Don't let that scare you off though if you have never been and really want to see New York and have kids in tow. One thing we learned very quickly by taking the kids with us this time is that New Yorkers LOVE kids. I was really suprised by that. I assumed we would get some nasty looks as we hauled our kids onto the subway at rush hour or jostled our way up sidewalks but what we got instead was lots of smiles, offers of seats on the subway (every single time) and lots of great conversations with locals. This was one of my favourite parts of having the kids with us (aside from showing them one of the most amazing cities in the world); we had way more conversations with locals than we've had before because of the kids. It was great and we'll be going back as soon as we can.

Here are a few tips that I discovered about going to New York with kids (there aren't too many):

• if you can avoid it, don't bring a stroller; use a chest carrier or just rely on the kids' feet. We walked everywhere and took the subway. Hope rode on John's shoulders a few times but less than I expected. We only heard complaints about walking twice: the first night when they had their first long walk up to Times Square and after we got home and Hope said she was glad she didn't have to walk so far for a while. That's pretty good, I'd say! (Just make sure the kids have really good walking shoes.)
• Don't bother going out for breakfast. We made this mistake every day but the last. By the time we had food in front of us it was often 1.5 to 2 hours after we got up. The kids were starving and grumpy making the adults a bit grumpy (particularly the male one). Breakfast out in New York is an adult enjoyment. Save your money, go to one of the many, many breakfast carts and take it back to the hotel room before heading out on your daily adventures. Save restaurants for lunch and supper. Of course, if your hotel includes continental breakfast as many do (but not ours) all the better.
• Spend the money to do some of the things you may not do on your own: go up the Empire State Building, buy the tickets for the ferry to the Statue of Liberty, ride the ferris wheel at Toys R Us. We only spent the money on the latter but I wish we'd bought tickets for the Statue instead of taking the free Statten Island Ferry past her. Emily riddled me with questions about the big lady and I couldn't answer them without an internet connection. I wished we'd just gone right to the island. Lesson learned for next time. This could be kid-specific. Emily loves to learn as much as she can when she is visiting landmarks and new places and I should have kept this in mind.
• Spend a full day in Central Park if you can and include the zoo. It's a great but easy day for everyone and lots of fun.

We rode the train from Buffalo to New York. Amtrak is by far the most affordable way to get to New York from this part of Ontario. Our total fare return for all four of us was $340. It seems that this is no secret. The train was full most of the way there. The girls were amazing on the train given it is an 8.5 hour ride. I brought a TON of food and I'm glad I did. When they were getting bored, we snacked on fruit and sandwiches and veggies and pretzels. I also brought activity books, colouring, some travel games and videos on the iPhone. That was sufficient. Hope slept for the last two hours and Emily chatted with us. For me, it was the only way to get there this time. We couldn't afford to fly all four of us there and driving would mean I would be sitting for way too long (and making too many bathroom stops). The train was the perfect choice.


After checking into our hotel, we headed out for supper. We went to Little Korea (our hotel was in Murray Hill, an area in central Manhattan and very close to Little Korea) and ate at a dumpling place that was recommended in my guidebook (when in New York, I find a guidebook essential). The kids loved it as did we adults. The green dumplings were really crazy but Emily declared them the best.

(I love the look on Hope's face here.)

From the restaurant we walked up to Times Square, the first big walk of the weekend. On the way, we found these guys performing. That's something I love about New York, you never know what public performance you'll find just around the corner.


After watching them for a bit, we went arrived in Times Square and headed to the gigantic Toys R Us. Hope and I rode the big indoor ferris wheel while Emily and John got nauseated watching us. After that, it was time to head back to the hotel for bed.

The next morning we headed towards Central Park to find the diner that John and I ate at several years ago. It took us a while but we did finally find it (this was the time that we realized that breakfast out was more for us than them). After breakfast we went into Central Park. First, we spent time at the playgrounds. After that, we went to the zoo. The Central Park Zoo is really good for a small zoo. Our kids loved the penguins and puffins and the red panda (also John's favourite). After having lunch there we found a shady spot and just laid around for a rest. This was the point that I confirmed my opinion about the lack of nearby public toilets in New York. Hope didn't make it and was pretty upset (have to admit, I was a bit upset too although not at her). Just keep that in mind if you go. After cleaning up we went to the Children's Zoo - much smaller, mainly farm animals - and fed and petted the animals.

It's this kind of view that makes me return to New York again and again... and love Central Park as much as I do.

We left Central Park and hung out around a piece of public art, watching the world go by. I treated the girls to a soft serve from Mr. Softee and then John headed to Borders while I took the girls to FAO Schwarz. If you go to New York with kids, this is a must-stop, even if you don't buy anything. This is a high-end toy store with areas devoted to Barbie, Charlie and Lola, Harry Potter, Lego, I could go on and on. After that I promised the girls we'd go to the Disney Store on 5th Avenue. This is where the day started to fall apart. We arrived at 711 5th Avenue to find that the Disney Store was closed. This is where Hope started to fall apart. We had to meet John an hour later in front of the Disney Store address so there wasn't time to head to the Times Square location. Instead I found a Starbucks (can you say shooting fish in a barrel? that's how hard it is to find a Starbucks in New York) and we chilled.... until Hope spilled her drink on her sandal and the meltdown started again. Luckily it was time to meet John.

The day was great but we did push how much we could fit in with a three-year-old. I wouldn't do it differently, I would just be more prepared for some tears near the end of the day. We made a smart decision and ate take-out in our room for supper and had an early night.

The next morning we again tried breakfast, this time in NoLiTa at Bubby's. Great breakfast, made better by the fact that an actor from The West Wing was having breakfast there at the same time (I've IMDBd and Wikied West Wing and cannot find mention of her anywhere but I'm SURE she was played a character that had to do with defence. It's driving me crazy). Still, it wasn't worth the money for the amount the kids ate.

Our next goal was to ride the free Statten Island Ferry past the Statue of Liberty. The girls did love getting on a big boat and going past the statue but as I said before, Emily (and I probably) would have preferred to go to the actual island.) Although it was around this time that I started having A LOT of Braxton Hicks contractions and back ache that lasted until I went to bed that night so being on a ferry with lots of seats was better than walking around an island. I'm glad Day 2 wasn't as ambitious as Day 1 (which is probably what caused so many contractions on Day 2). After we'd done our ferry tour and bought a few souvenirs we walked through a lovely area of the financial district - cobblestone streets and small pubs and restaurants - and sat at Starbucks for a while. From there we headed to our favourite New York Book Store, The Strand on Broadway. I sat again while reading to the girls. We bought some great books. The two best are two pop-up books that put all other pop-up books to shame; these are works of art.

After The Strand we rode many subways to get to a New York landmark for supper, Katz's Deli. If you ever in New York, you must go. You'll remember it from the famous deli scene in When Harry Met Sally. The scene was filmed at Katz's. Their pastrami on rye is to die for. It was a real Old New York experience. It was probably my favourite meal we had there and the kids loved it too.

There was a lovely old couple sitting behind us who were totally enraptured with our kids and took a photo for us. I also tried the famous New York Egg Cream with my dinner. It's a drink, invented in Brooklyn, that is made of milk, chocolate syrup, vanilla and, wait for it, seltzer water. It is weird and I'll never likely order it again but it was worth a try. The other great thing about the meal is you start with a plate of pickles, all made at Katz's. They must have known a pregnant woman was coming. So good.

My favourite were the long, dark green ones.

Salami, anyone?

Look closely and you'll see the round sign pointing out the table where Harry and Sally sat.

Ready to eat! (And you can see the lovely lady just behind John who declared our kids the most beautiful in the world. She's got taste, that lady.)

Best sandwich ever.

The next morning, we packed up and rode the train home. The kids were great again, the train wasn't as full except for one special passenger on our car: Parker Posy! Oh, yes...she was on our Amtrak car. No, I didn't talk to her or ask her for an autograph. I just started at her as she was on her way to the bathroom.

And that was the trip. We had an amazing time. I can't wait to go back with the kids again. And now, time for some nasal spray.

Out with the old.....

I'm suffering from a brutal cold after our awesome weekend in New York so I'm going to delay the New York post until I'm feeling a bit better. But today something exciting happened around here:

Goodbye, old friend.

Heeelllloooo. How you doin' ?

Pull-Ups Potty Dance blog tour

If you've been here a while, you'll know that I had a bear of a time toilet training Emily. During that harrowing experience, I came up with a little song that I sang while she was sitting on the toilet waiting for something to happen. I named it "The pee pee song" and yes it had a counterpart. I'm sure you can guess the name without me telling you.

It went a little like this (I spared you all an audio version):

(to the tune of Three Blind Mice)
Pee pee come out
Pee pee come out
Where are you?
Where are you?
We're sitting here waiting for you
We're sitting here waiting for you
Pee pee come out
Pee pee come out.

Grammy worthy, eh? But you know what? I still get requests for it. Unfortunately it's usually in a public bathroom. And yes, I always oblige.

It did however get us through some tough moments and make toilet training slightly more fun (let's face it, it will never really be fun).

Because of this experience and my foray into songwriting, I was interested when Mom Central Canada asked me to participate in a blog tour for the Pull-Ups Potty Dance. It's a way for moms and kids to put a bit of fun into what can be a trying experience for everyone, the same way my song did for my kids and me. Here is the Pull-Ups Potty Dance in action performed by Jessica Holmes and Traci Melchor.

Are you potty training one of your kids right now? Do you have a fun ritual of your own? I'd love to hear about it. And if you want to adopt the Pull-Ups Potty Dance (I mean, why reinvent the wheel?) you can find out more at pull-ups.com.

I don't know any mother or father who loved directing their kids through potty training. Maybe the ideas you find there, or the fun rituals you share with others, will make it slightly less stressful for everyone.

Suspenders needed

My pants will no longer stay up in a way that covers my midriff or will allow me to look like anything but an old man with no bum.

And I'm wearing the giant panel-style maternity pants. And yet they still sag after mere minutes and leave me exposed.

I need some kind of shoulder strap system, suspenders or, I suppose, a mumu.

Car shopping

We seem to have decided, for the most part, that we should replace our car. Our current car is a 2002 Hyundai Elantra GT (that's a hatchback) with 170,000 km on it. The car has started to make some sounds. We've already put some good money into it this year. We'd be cramming three kids into the back seat together if we keep it, which is what we were fully planning to do, until the recent sounds started and we faced spending another chunk of money on it.

And so I started a search for a new car. I went to Mazda first. I've liked the Mazda 5 for some time and it does have an extra row of seating at the back making it a 6-seater. It also IS NOT A MINIVAN and don't let anyone else tell you different! I am so completely and totally anti-minivan. Not only are they supremely U-G-L-Y, they are also not fuel-efficient and too big for my tastes.

We test drove the Mazda 5 today. I loved it. There is one big problem though: John's legs are just a bit too long to be truly comfortable in the driver's seat. In fact, he has a little less leg room than in our Elantra hatchback, which totally blew me away. On the very large plus side, there is room for the three kids in there without being crammed in like sardines. Also, it handles great, is good on gas and is kind of sporty - decidedly not mini-van.

Last night I went to the Hyundai dealership. I drove the Tuscon (thumbs down!) and the Elantra Touring, the replacement car for our GT which they no longer make. I liked the Touring, not surprisingly since it drove just like our current car. It has a bit more cargo space in the trunk since it is a mini-wagon but we're faced with the same issue of cramming three car seats across the back and the only way that will work is if we buy a Sunshine Radian car seat for either the baby or Hope. If the baby is in it that will mean that I will never be able to cart the baby around in a bucket seat; I will always have to unbuckle and lift the baby out of the seat; not the end of the world, but inconvenient nonetheless. On the major plus side is that our current winter tires and roof rack will fit on the Touring, saving a bunch of money later on.

So, there is still no sure answer, no sign pointing us at the PERFECT CAR.

Any advice? What would you buy if you had three kids? Or maybe you already do.... if so, what do you drive? (Please don't advise a minivan.... I'm a bit pig-headed about my opinion on that.)

Not a great joke

I've been awake since 5:15 and I don't think it's a very good joke for April Fool's. In fact, I've been awake for portions of the last three nights, just unable to fall back to sleep. I can't even blame a wakeful in utero baby, or nasal congestion, or heartburn, or even a mind that won't settle down. I just can't get back to sleep. There's no reason for it and it is so. damn. annoying.

So, I'm going to grab my latest Ayelet Waldman mystery, settle back with something to drink (my thirst is off the charts right now due to the nasal spray I've been using to help with nightly congestion; the neti pot just ain't doing it for me) and hope I can grab a nap this afternoon.