Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Why blogs slow things down

(I had to get this out. WCW post is just below this. Don't miss out on some great pizza!)

I don't mean that my blog slows me down or is a chore. What I mean is that when I don't blog, I feel a bit like life is passing me by. This is because I'm continuing to see the kids change, grow, accomplish new things, be funny, be nasty, have runny noses, all of it but none of it is down anywhere. I'm relying on my memory to capture it all and you know what? That sucker just isn't that reliable anymore. Ask John. He'll tell you.

Emily's first year is not captured on a blog, in a diary (okay, the first couple of months are in a journal but after that my hand got sore). I really regret that. I have lots of great memories of that year, and lots of not-so-great ones, but as time goes on, they're fading. Some still stand out vividly but the regular days, the ones you sometimes cherish the most... they're going and it makes me sad. I don't want that to happen again.

Since my posts have slowed down to a distinct crawl over the past few weeks, I've really felt a hole in my days, which has grown into a hole in my creativity and from there a hole in myself. I know this sounds awfully grandiose and over-the-top dramatic, but I really feel a bit dismayed by it all. I really do feel like a very close friend has left town and damn do I miss her.

God, it feels good to write again. I feel myself relaxing and I feel happy. Even joyous. Like I'm in the right place. Or the write place.

I have a lot to say. A lot of it is about the kids, of course. This is a damn Mommy Blog after all. But I also want to talk about the summer at the cottage, fall, the class I'm taking, thoughts on the future, all the usual stuff I go on about here. Ad nauseum.

But man, have I ever missed that nauseum.

Baby, I sure hope I'm back cuz this feels so write.


little b said...

I really miss it when you don't post. i probably check 6 times a day to see if you've written anything.

oh, and i assume my number is on speed dial on yourr phone? Hope called me today.

Karen said...

I wondered if she made it through - I saw your number on the display and the words "call ended." Yah, she's into the cell phone. I will probably happen again.

juls said...

glad your back. i missed your posts. maybe i will be inspired to post more myself...

Anonymous said...

I too check your post at the oddest of times... those moments on call when I just want to crash or cry and have a minute to eat a sandwich and sit down... that's when I'm the most glad to read something new and human. I love living vicariously through you and the kiddos!