Wednesday, June 28, 2006

I'm becoming one of "those" bloggers

You know, those blogs that you start to read and then the blogger posts less and less frequently. How annoying. That's me now. However, work was insane (as usual) for the past three weeks or so. Now, typically, it is totally dead so here I am wasting government time and money when I could be, I don't know, reading a book about Hypnobirthing or visiting friends. Instead I'm talking to the internet.

The other time consumer I am employing is tracking my amazing sister as she competes in Primal Quest 2006. Her team, 24Seven is ranked 35th right now out of about 89 teams. Wicked. Primal Quest has an amazing site to track the team's progress as they compete in this gruelling 10-day adventure race across the Utah desert. (Yes, I almost wrote dessert. It's one of my mental blocks in writing.)

I'm starting to feel large. From outside my body most people find I am rather compact for almost 7 months pregnant however I'm starting to find stairs challenging again. And movement in general. I'm also starting to feel stressed about the birth. I know what to expect in labour. I'm not worried about that. I'm worried about being able to have a successful VBAC. I think I've pinned too much on it and that I'm focussed too much on the VBAC and not on the baby. I just so sincerely don't want another c-section. I know my chances of a successful VBAC are totally in my favour (80% or more of women who try are successful). I'm doing everything right - massage, chiro, yoga and extra stretching. Also, I'm under the care of a midwife again which means everything is my choice rather than dictated by an OB or hospital policy (although I'll be in a hospital I don't have to abide by their "rules"), I will refuse induction (knowing that this seriously hampers any chances of a VBAC). If I need an induction, I will go straight to a c-section again knowing how my body responded to induction last time (too quick - which led to many further interventions). I'm also about to start reading about Hypnobirthing to help me through the pain in case I have back labour again. And there are other things I am considering that will increase my chances but before I post them here I have to talk to John about them. It isn't great for him to find out about my ideas or how I'm feeling through the blog, so I'll spare him that.

Emily is going through a funny (by funny, I mean annoying, whining, crying, mixed with fun, laughing, normal Emily) time right now. Since we got back from St. Catharines, she changed. She was amazing the weekend we were there (and the drives there and back) but either being away from home, being with us the whole time (and therefore not wanting to go back to daycare) or incoming canines (most likely I think) has changed her temperment, hopefully temporarily. Although yesterday we had a short reprieve when she was back to her amazing self all day and through the evening. This morning, back to grouchy, crying for no reason Emily. Just in time for my friend Deb to join us for dinner tonight. I'm sure this will be a further method of birth control for her.

One little message to Jannie, who I know reads this periodically: I hope you had a great birthday! I have a card sitting ready to mail but I haven't been to the mailbox in quite a while. It will get to you very soon I hope!

Well, back to checking on Beth and her crazy race.

Friday, June 09, 2006

A little sad

Emily seems to be reacting to having a new girl at her daycare. Previous to Monday, it was just Emily and the other Emily (known as Mimi). On Monday, Sophie started and I've seen some reactions in Emily, who likes Sophie, but I don't think she likes sharing Dawn, the caregiver with new competition. She is happier than usual to see me at the end of the day, she needs more kisses and hugs before I leave her, she is grumpy after she gets home and before she gets to bed, and last night, she had a nightmare. She went back to sleep in my lap right away but stirred and said "home." It really made my heart hurt. I want you to be home with me too, Emily! Soon, very soon.

Aside from that, things are good: I bought a used easel so she can amuse herself better while we're getting supper ready. It is marginally improving supper preparation. Of course, her favourite bit is drawing with me, not near me, and also putting marker all over her hands and then washing it off, which of course takes help from John or I. Sigh.

Two other words I forgot to add to my list of the other day that I love to hear her say: noonies (noodles) and dobbies (strawberries). Heh.

It's going to rain all weekend in Ottawa so we'll have to come up with some good adventures (aside from the ALS Walk in the rain - don't forget you can support me here).

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Too much to do to blog

John got back late Wednesday night and before then as well as after, I have been too busy or too tired to post anything. Pathetic! So, just before I go for a lay down, I'll give an update.

John got back at about midnight on Wednesday. I was still awake working (crazy work week - 9 briefing books over two days - unheard of!). By 1:00 we were both ready to go to bed, but Emily was ready to get up. And was up for the next 2 1/2 hours. Needless to say, the next day was rough. Especially since I worked until 10:00 pm that next day. Ick!

So, by Friday I was totally baked but John was back, Emily was thrilled to see him, and all was well.

We've had a great weekend - took Emily to the Science and Tech museum yesterday. I didn't think she'd find anything she liked, but there are so many buttons to push, and lights, and big trains, and cars, and phones etc etc etc that she had a ball.

Today, we went to the park, met Pam, Jim and Nevan there, and then lunch out at Ottawa Bagel. Now, Emily sleeps.

Things Emily is saying/doing right now that I don't want to forget:

  • saying "too tight" to anything that she wears
  • "More dam" meaning "more jam," a new favourite food
  • "Daddy coming?" when she wants John to join us for something
  • the other day as I was getting ready to take her to daycare, she was standing in the driveway while I put our things in the car and she said to me: "Emily coming?"
  • "Emily funny."
  • "Bye-bye de l'eau" when we let the water out of the bathtub
  • This morning in the car she strung this one together: "Bye bye elbow soon Emily". Huh?
  • "Big big brella" about the umbrella on the patio
  • She refers to the hair detangler and comb as "ouch"
  • She LOVES horseplay
  • She has a total swing addiction, as well as a bubble addiction
  • Everytime we get close to the plaza where the shawarma place is she starts desperately chanting "Sa-ma", with emphasis on the second syllable.
  • She says "Daddy bye bye" when she wants him to leave (this really only applies at bath time when she prefers that I do it over him)
  • She loves to stand in the rain
  • She absolutely loves to hug and kiss other kids. I think this is an example of her huge capacity for love and I absolutely adore that about her.
  • This morning she needed some time outs after she keps throwing things on the floor and refusing to pick them up (food actually). The second time, after refusing to pick the banana up she looked at me and said "uh-stairs?"
  • Addiction to any songs in the car, but especially "Wheels on the Bus" (she asks for this by saying "encore bus!"), "Itsy Bitsy Spider," "Ring around the rosy," and "LMNOP" which for her is the alphabet song.

She's just amazing right now. I love every single moment of every single day with her. I now understand what parents talk about when they say, and believe, that their children are to them the most beautiful thing they've ever encountered. In my world, I really believe that about Emily. She's beautiful in every way. Not just to look at, but to listen to, to spend time with, to laugh and play with, to watch.