You know those times where you're asked about your most embarrassing moment? Since I was about 22 I've always used the same story and nothing has ever come close to replacing it.
Until today.
I was trying to set up our new DSL connection (which, by the by, may prove to be an egregious error on our part. The $50 a month we were spending on a high-speed cable connection is now starting to sound like it was worth every penny but I digress.). I was having problems. I won't go into all of it now, but I got to the point where I didn't have an internet connection and I needed to get the phone number of our router manufacturer. In the midst of all this, two things were happening that are crucial to the story: Hope was crying through the monitor and I had to pee. Pretty bad.
I really needed the phone number so I called John at work. When he didn't pick up after the first ring, I assumed he wasn't at his desk. For those of you who don't know, John is a professor. As professors do, he has his own office with a closed door - no cube farms over there. So, when he doesn't pick up right away, he isn't going to pick up. I quickly ran to the bathroom, sat down on the toilet and got ready to leave a message.
He picked up the phone.
Here's what happened next:
Me: Oh, I was going to leave you a message! I'm sitting on the toilet right now!
John: (Silence) Um, this isn't John.
Me: Uh, what? Oh my word. Oh God. I AM SO EMBARASSED! I AM SO EMBARRASSED! [Yes, I said this]
Me: Who is this?
Unknown person sending me to an early grave: I'm John's T.A.
Me: Oh God, Oh God, Oh God. I'm so embarassed! I can't believe I just said that!
UPSMTAEG: I didn't hear anything. I don't know what you said. It was so fast. I didn't hear anything.
Me: Really?
UPSMTAEG: Really. I didn't. I don't know what you were saying.
Me: Okay, let's just say that.
UPSMTAEG: Yeah, let's just say that.
We went on to have a conversation about ISPs and the like and pretended that he didn't just hear me tell him that I'm on the toilet. And oh, by the way, I totally finished peeing while I was talking to him. What was I supposed to do, after all? I was in the middle of things. I did refrain from flushing though since we were both pretending that he didn't know I was on the toilet. I didn't want to spoil the false ignorance.
And this, friends, is the real me. If you didn't know me well before, you just got a glimpse of the kind of thing I do. This is for sure more embarrassing than barfing in front of all the ushers at the O'Keefe Centre during a performance of the Nutcracker. For sure.
And, if you know me, you'll also know that while I was embarrassed, I told everyone I could as soon a possible because damn, it's funny.
6 comments:
barfing in front of the ushers was more embarrassing than getting stuck crawling in the kitchen window while everyone was leaving the mosque next door?
Hilarious! I'll have to remember that next time I call Mike, who's also a prof btw, when I'm on the toilet. :)
Heidi
Beth: Oh right, I forgot about the mosque, the dress, my butt pointing at everyone leaving the mosque. Hmm. That's a tough choice. Still, yesterday was more embarrassing than both.
OK, I want to hear more about this butt pointing to the mosque. So what was John's reaction when he heard this? Did the TA say anything to him?
Excellent! I love it (c;
-Erika
Thanks for the laugh Karen.
Post a Comment