What no one else will tell you....

that hemorrhoids are possibly as bad as the labour, birth and delivery all put together. I thought I had avoided the worst of it, being that it is now three weeks later. I was suffering a bit but able to manage it with a daily routine of Preparation H. But then, today happened... welcome, constipation. Welcome, a marble-sized (we're talking the large guys, not the cat's eyes) hemorrhoid that is requiring me to walk like there is a piece of lumber between my cheeks and to ensure that I always take a pillow to the car with me. The thing about it that is different than labour etc is that there is no obvious end in sight. My midwife gave me a list of some herbal remedies to try that are supposed to cure even the most chronic case of the roids but could I get them at my local natural food store? Of course not. Instead, according to them, I need to call a Shaman (yes, you read that right) or an herbalist. I'll be on that first thing tomorrow because the idea of pooping right now has me completely and utterly terrified which isn't exactly helping the problem. Beth, does Marlene have any quick fixes beyond the piece of witch hazel-soaked toilet paper that is currently wedged in my bum?